Sunday, May 13, 2012

Deadbeat Summer

     Hey all! It's been far too long now since I last wrote, and I mean actually wrote, rather than a bunch of new and fantastic songs for you to try out. But I've been quite busy as of late, and not the interesting and relevant busy. Well, tiny bits here and there, but not worth devoting an entire blog to. No, I've just been trying to finish this semester strong to raise my overall GPA and be better set for my last year at SIU. And so far it's been paying off. Three of five of my final grades have come in and they're all A's, so let's hope that keeps up with the last two. Wait... Now I'm talking about the boring stuff. School's over and that's reason enough to talk about it. Let's move onto what's in store for next three months.

The New Hobby:
     Matt came down in April with a few friends to go hiking and camping in Giant City Park, then continuing their camping and hiking out at few other places. Matt invited me to go out with them, since they were only in town for the day. So, after class, I went out there for the first time, got lost for like an hour trying to find where exactly to go, and met up with them. Evidently they had already gone on a trail or two and had gone free climbing, which has become Matt's new hobby. We checked out a drying waterfall, with only a small stream of water coming down the large rocky steps that layered on top of one another. From there we went on another trail where we got to see a snake and sit on cliff, and bask in the sun. I found the whole experience to be very pleasant.

     I found it so enjoyable that I've started going back by myself and go on hikes through the forrest. I really feel like it's something that I should have been into my entire life. I remember being into nature and hiking when I was really young, but I guess that stopped when I got into videogames. Being back in nature, where it's so quite, is such fantastic place to visit when you to get away from the usual day of sitting around or going to class. It's good to be back in it. It's definitely going to be something I do throughout the summer.

     In the meantime, while I'm here for the next week or two, I'll be spending a large amount of time out there and enjoy the lack of phone service, videogames, internet, and television (even though I don't care to watch tv). I started my first day of summer (which was yesterday), heading out to Giant City and hiking the entire day. Unfortunately I was unable to really continue my hiking because the park was getting crowded with graduation parties and the trails were becoming a little congested, which I am not a fan of. I like to take it slow, explore side paths, and taking in the surroundings for many minutes on end. Luckily the path I was on was a two-hour hike, so at least I got in a fair bit. Plus, I found the perfect walking stick in a dried up riverbed. It's just the right height for my hand and the bark where my hand is hugs the stick, so it's like a hand grip. It was so helpful that I took it back home with me.

It shall be my new trekking companion. Maybe I should give it a name.

A New Face:
     In April, I had a new guest come down. I've been talking with a girl that works at my dad's company, named Stefany. I invited her down for the weekend, and she was totally down for it. We planned a number of things, from going to Giant City to going to see Titanic 3D. She had been wanting to see it and hadn't gotten around to seeing it yet. The weather was supposed to be good but it ended up being overcast and cold, which sucked for Stefany because she was planning for warm weather... We improvised though, and we went to Hobby Lobby and got painting supplies and we painted in my kitchen. Painting is one of her hobbies and talents. She's quite good, while mine are on par with a child's depiction of Halo.

I think it's pretty obvious to determine who's is who's.

     She said she had a great time and we've made plans for the summer to spend time with each other during the summer.

Summer time is Halo time:
     With Halo 4 slowly looming closer, and with news coming out more and more frequently, I felt that this summer, like last summer, would be filled with Halo. Taking center stage to keep the Halo momentum going is my Halo Mega Marathon.

     The summer-long Halo Mega Marathon includes any and all official Halo Canon, and all in chronological order. Certain bits towards the end don't even arrive until the fall and winter, so technically, this runs throughout the rest of the year, but the bulk of it will be my summer and will be leading up to PAX Prime and, hopefully, Halo Fest 2012. Yes, I still have hope that Halo Fest will make a return.

I don't have an exact starting date yet, as I'll be having Dan and Chris staying here with me next week and I may have plans to go fishing with my cousin and frequent hiking trips. So I'm waiting for a few days where I have nothing going on to begin. I also have no intervalled schedule, so it's possible that I become very absorbed in the whole thing that I end it in like... a month. I'll just be trying to spread things far enough apart so that it lasts the whole summer. Here's the lineup:

* = Completed

*1. Halo 3: The Cradle of Life
*2. Halo Legends (Part 1) [The Duel]
*3. Halo: The Fall of Reach (Part 1) [Which ends after the capture of Colonel Watts]
*4. Halo: Contact Harvest
*5. Halo: Evolutions (Part 1) [Pariah]
*6. Halo: The Fall of Reach (Part 2) [Which ends just before the OP: RED FLAG briefing]
*7. Halo: Legends (Part 2) [The Babysitter, Homecoming, The Package, Prototype]
*8. Halo: Genesis
*9. Halo: Ghosts of Onyx (Part 1) [Which ends before the battle of Earth]
*10. Halo: Evolutions (Part 2) [Stomping on the Heels of a Fuss, Midnight in the Heart of Midlothian, Dirt, Headhunters, Blunt Instruments, The Impossible Life and Possible Death of Preston J. Cole]
11. Halo Wars
12. Halo: The Cole Protocol (Boo! Can I skip this one?)
13. Halo: Blood Line
14. Halo: Reach
15. Halo: A Fistful of Arrows
16. Halo: The Fall of Reach (Part 3)
17. Halo: Katherine Halsey's Journal
18. Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary (And maybe "The Flood" in between playing...)
19. Halo Graphic Novel
20. Halo: First Strike
21. Halo 2 (Part 1) [Which ends after leaving New Mombasa]
22. Halo: Helljumper
23. Halo 3: ODST
24. Halo: Ghosts of Onyx (Part 1) [Which ends when Blue Team is en route to Onyx]
25. Halo 2 (Part 2)
26. Halo: Ghosts of Onyx (Part 2)
27. Halo: Uprising
28. Halo: Evolutions (Part 3) [Human Weakness, The Mona Lisa]
29. Halo 3
30. Halo Legends (Part 3) [Origins I & II]
31. Halo: Evolutions (Part 4) [The Return, From the Office of Dr. Arthur Iqbal]
32. Halo: Glasslands
33. Halo: The Thursday War (which comes out October 2nd)
34. Halo: Cryptum
35. Halo: Primordium
36. Halo: Forward Unto Dawn
37. Halo 4
38. Halo 4: Spartan Ops
39. Halo: [Last Forerunner Saga book] (which presumably comes out in early January)

     As you can see, I'm breaking up certain books into sections that have other items in between. I want it all to a relatively strict chronological order, because certain sections in books where the bulk isn't the main story can be pretty long, so I'm just making them smaller stories. An interesting side effect that I'm excited to see are moments that refer to past events that I've read about before or even certain lines in dialogue being referenced much farther down the line from when I'd normally hear it. What I'm excited about is if the moments feel more meaningful and far more intertwined than normal.

     Past that, though, I'll return to working on my very large Halo megabloks diorama that will sit beneath the shelves that house most of my collection. Although, I think I'm not going to do it the way I originally planned, which was carving foam and painting and gluing shit, and just really making it a big project, and an incredibly messy one at that. No, I think I'm going to take advantage of those Halo megabloks battlescapes for this. It's just too simply and easy not to do. Sure, I sacrifice the realistic aspect, as well as the type of environment I wanted, but I could tell after the first night of working on it that this wasn't going to end the way I want it and I've made a mistake, not to mention wasting a lot of time and money on the materials...

     In my last actual blog, I briefly talked about a video I had started working on. Well, since then, I finished working on it. I spent far longer on it than I had anticipated, but it really made a difference, and it shows. I posted it all around the internet, including Halo.Bungie.Org and It was featured on both sites and that helped views count shoot through the roof, or at least for me. Within the first 3 days, it got almost 1800 views, and people seem to really be diggin' it. It may seem a bit egotistical as well as show a real need for attention and devotion, but I went around and looked for positive comments on it, looking for ones that sounded similar to the ones I imagined there would be when I was making it. And find them I did. Normally I don't care for gloating, but when it comes to artistic work of mine, or in as much as I just edited footage to go along with the song, I care very deeply how others view it, especially when it's something that's supposed to be beautiful and awe-striking, rather than the exciting tones of videos I've put together in the past.

I have succeeded.

     I'll admit though, that while I loved that people liked my video, I was really hoping for more actual responses to me from my Halo friends, both in real life, and on twitter, and only a small fraction of both groups did... It just kind of makes me sad because they're the ones that I wanted to see it the most, and whose praise I was hoping to get most of all because that means more to me than a bunch of random people on the internet...

    But it is what it is. The work on this will help me prepare more for the summer, not to mention my planned career. This summer, I, along with some of my best friends will be continuing work on the machinima I came up with over Spring Break. We still need to put together a formal script, go through production, record lines, and then spend a bunch of time editing it, before releasing to the masses. 

     I don't remember what all I've said about this yet, but the story takes place in the Halo universe, and is not a stand-alone story. Well, it is, but this story starts after a specific part in the Halo: Reach campaign. It follows a squad of ODSTs that are hopelessly defending Reach, which is burning to glass. More details as things get moving on this mini-series, which is planned to be in three parts.

     In July, I make my way out to San Diego Comic Con. This will be my fourth year going and just like every year, I'm there for Halo. If you've read my Halo story blog posts, you'll know that SDCC has held a lot of major moments for me and Halo. Apparently this year they'll be showing off the new live-action mini-series 'Halo: Forward Unto Dawn,' which is supposed to lead us into the release of Halo 4. I can't wait to see it and my friends from 343i, as well as a few friends that I've met at past conventions.

     In August, I'll once again be heading to the west coast, but this time to Seattle, my future home, for PAX Prime, and hopefully Halo Fest 2012. Last year was my first time there, due to Halo Fest and I loved it so much that I wanted to make it a yearly thing like SDCC. There, I'd be seeing almost all of my Halo/Twitter friends and we'd all be enjoying Halo together, as well as hanging out with those from 343i. It'll be much different from last year though, because last year, I never even got to see the actual PAX Prime show floor, as I spent my entire time at Halo Fest.

Losing the Weight:
     On June 30th of last year, I got a lap band put in just above my stomach. If you don't know, the lap band goes around the tube that connects to the stomach. When the lap band is inflated, it closes that tube more. The purpose of the whole thing is to lose weight, and lose I have.

     Since I started, I've lost a total of over 90 lbs, and the 100 lb mark is coming up quickly. My goal since this whole thing started was to lose 100 lbs by the one-year mark, and it looks like I'm going to be able to do it with time to spare.

     Throughout the summer I plan on continuing my weight loss by swimming in my pool back home on a regular basis, hiking when and where I am able to, and start practicing more on my footwork in dancing, which should become easier with the more weight I lose.

Feeling Nostalgic:
     Finally, I've been feeling nostalgic lately, particularly about the days when I would collect and play Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG. I definitely don't want to get back into the actual game because it's a ton of money, but I do want to recreate a couple of my favorite decks that I made when I was younger. It's still a bit of money, but it's kind of a one-time fee, that won't continue for years on end. I just want to make the decks and put them in some sort of nice deck case. I was imagining a wooden case with a glass face, and on the inside would be three impressions that would house each deck.

     I am generally one to sell stuff after I realize I won't use that stuff anymore. I always see older people mention how they wish that they had some of their favorite toys from when they were children, kind of like in The Santa Clause. I thought that rather than sell all my stuff away, I would keep certain toys that were particularly special to me, like my old Jurassic Park velociraptor figure, and I would have those memoirs to keep displayed or something.


     So that's what I've got going my way for the next three months. It should be quite the adventure. I'll leave you with a fantastic song that goes absolutely perfect with great weather and being outside. This is "Deadbeat Summer," by Neon Indian. Enjoy!

Until next time...

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Recently Added #2

     Hey all! Boy has it been a while since I posted last. I've been quite busy with school and sitting around and doing nothing. There was also some hiking, had a weekend guest, fought off sharks, learned to fly, and saved the universe, but I'll get to those in another post sometime soon. In the meantime, I've just downloaded a bunch of new songs on itunes by new artists that I found on I've mentioned it in the past, but if you don't know what it is, you just type any given band or musical artist in the search bar and then you can expand it to find similar artists. So once again I've come in with a fresh new stock of music to listen and dance to on an almost-constant basis, and boy am I enjoying it. I enjoy it so much, in fact, that I felt I would share the wonderful noises to anyone who will listen. Enjoy!

Bag Raiders 
(My current favorite)

'Sunlight' (ft. Dan Black)

'Shooting Stars'

'So Demanding'

'Way Back Home'

Holy Ghost!

'Do It Again'

'Jam For Jerry' (An absolutely fantastic song)

'Hold On'

Miami Horror

'Holidays' (ft. John Palomo)


'Moon Theory'



I also watched Finding Nemo last week and realized that I love the theme song, so I'll post that too.

'Nemo Egg'

     Well, that's all for now. Hope you enjoyed the tunes as much as I did. Until next time...

Monday, March 26, 2012

Go Outside

     Hey all and welcome back! It's been a while since I've done an actual blog post and I felt that in order to continue my blog, I obviously have to write something. That has recently, I'll admit, been difficult for me. Since Spring Break started back on March 9th, I haven't had all that much going on, or at least,  enough built up to write a substantial blog's worth. I'm also using this post as a sort of experiment for future blog posts. This blog, and possibly from now on, I'll be segmenting my blog up into chapter-like sections, similar to my Halo Story posts. So let's start by getting caught up.

     My reasoning for this change is mostly for my purposes. I usually get caught up in just talking about what's going on in my life, which is okay and all, but part of why I started this blog was to also talk about Halo, which seems to be my most popular topic, as well as philosophical topics that I find myself thinking about, which is seen on my blog next to never... So, this is all to give me more organization and not to spin off into topics which some don't seem to find nearly as engaging. From now on, I'll be trying to cover a larger variety of topics for people to read.

-Story Time:

     Well, I haven't written anything in my blog since my Spring break, so let's start with how that week went, shall we? In short, my spring break was just the sort of vacation I needed. Throughout this semester, I've been finding myself less and less motivated in school work. Granted, this semester is easier that others, if only on the basis that three of my, then four but now, five classes are very closely related, and because of that, so is the work. The downside of that perk though is that I then do not feel nearly as challenged in those classes... My math class is a bit of a joke, so, again, there's not much for me to pay attention to. Anyway, because of this lack of motivation and a build up of midterms, I was pretty stressed by the end of the first half of the semester, and with my hardest week looming ever closer (but we'll talk about that later). The week-long break was great for pulling myself back together and getting back on track with certain things, many things, in fact. (After reading this paragraph, this is a very good example of how I start on a tangent and get very off topic... *sigh*)

     My break was spent with my friends, whom I saw about every day and evening of break. Matt and I spent a lot of time driving around and catching up and doing outdoor activities, which started a semi-hiatus from the internet. I also came up with two new video ideas with his help, but I'll get to that later.

     I also got back into a small hobby I picked up over summer- Giant bubble blowing. The weather was spectacular and it was a good opportunity to bring out the "wand." What the "wand" really is, is two sticks with a short cotton rope connecting them together with a much longer one below, that also connecting them together. One afternoon, Matt and I went out to the yard and a few neighbors stopped and just sat there watching me make my giant bubbles.

My inspiration for my bubble hobby

Me out on my deck, making giant bubbles for all to enjoy.

     My St. Patrick's Day was fairly interesting. I got a green button-down shirt for a party Colin's family was having that night. Everyone says that the shirt makes me look Alan Grant from Jurassic Park. I'm okay with this, although I was hoping for more of a handsome look instead of going-on-a-safari look. At the party, I got to hang out with Colin, Dan, Chris, Kozi, Terry, and Siegel, who, for some reason, I hadn't expected to be there. Later on, they talked me into going to White Castle with them. I got chicken rings, ate one and a half, and then realized that I shouldn't have done it because it wasn't going to be staying down... I was driving us back when I realized that at any moment, it was all going to come back up. We pulled over into an empty Chipotle parking lot where I got out as quick as I could and began... uh, well... vomiting. While doing so, a cop car pulled in and came up right next to us. The first thing out of his mouth was "How much have you been drinking tonight?" Oh course... It was St. Patrick's Day, it's like 1:00 AM and I'm hunched over outside my car throwing up in an empty parking lot... figures. I had to explain that I don't like to drink and how this was all a misunderstanding because of my lap band surgery. Afterwards, we went back to Colin's to let everyone get their cars before heading home. 

     Before leaving, however, "Icarus," by Madeon came on and Dan decided to start dancing. We decided to carry this over into the street outside Colin's house. It was delightfully fun, because before Spring Break started, I'd been having issues with not being able to dance like usual. I was being much less into the music and whatnot, but that has since passed. Aside from that, I also out-danced Dan, who is much more in shape that I. It was then that I realized that dancing was actually really helping my stamina and endurance. It's also been evident in my new Soccer class and when I was also able to out-dance Mike when I was in St. Louis this past Thursday for the Andrew Bird Concert, which was amazing to hear live, especially since he played one of my favorite songs:

"Tables and Chairs," by Andrew Bird

     My sister, Lizz, and cousin, Pat, also came down this weekend, and boy I miss it already. Again, I didn't spend much of any time on the internet, not only because Lizz's air mattress was blocking my desk, but because I didn't have much of any time. We hung out with Scott and Michael, who are also our cousins, and Pat's brothers. Most notable from the weekend, at least for me, was going fishing and realizing how much I enjoyed it. I don't really get out of my house that much because no one really ever wants to go do things and I don't know what is around here... So, from now on, I think I'm going to be spending my weekends down here on one of the many lakes that I've finally realized are very beautiful and peaceful.

-In the Internet World:

     Honestly, nothing has been going on in the internet for me. Like I said, I've barely been on at all the past couple weeks, and it's left me feeling awkward and distant from those that I normally talk to on twitter and such. I'll say that I don't like the fact that I haven't talked to anyone on there really, but at the same time, it's not in the forefront of my mind, not to mention how much I've been enjoying my time while NOT on the internet. If this continues, I'm not too sure how I'll end up. I don't want to lose my focus on my relationships with those that I feel connected with, but actually getting out and doing stuff has been so great, and rather therapeutic, in a sense. I wonder, despite how one connects with so many others over the internet, that if I gave it up, like I have pretty much done with television, I would be happier? I'll just have to keep it in mind for the next few weeks and test it out. Only time will tell.


     The last game that I played extensively was Mass Effect 3. I have done everything in the game except for the last two missions, and ME3 isn't a game that I'll be replaying for a while. I know the current endings already, but with the uproar by fans about the seemingly terrible ending, Bioware has said it will be changing the endings to give them more closure. Since I already know each ending, I've put the end of my ME3 save on hiatus until the new endings are out. I know I can just make another save file, but honestly, I'm not THAT invested in Mass Effect as it is. I know the endings, but they're getting changed, so I'm just going to wait it out.

     Past that, I've been playing Draw Something, so if you'd like to play with me, create a game with me through facebook, because I don't know what my username is, or if I even have one when using facebook to login.

-Halo News:

     Over break, Matt played a song in his car by m83, called, "Outro." You may recognize it from the Red Bull commercial where various athletes are doing jumps and flips in slow motion and are inter-cut with each other. The song is a giant build up and feels very... epic throughout. All I could imagine, especially near the end, was Halo and the sense of scale you feel throughout every game. So, I'm making it. I've already began cutting clips together and when it's done, I think people's mouths will be agape, going "Woah..." It's not like my usual trailer work that I've done before, where it focuses in on the characters and actions, but instead focuses on the scale of the Halo universe and the beauty of the structures, and the feeling that we are so small compared to everything going on. The problem is that since last Thursday, I don't feel like I have much of any time to work on until after April 3rd, due to school work. In the meantime, I thought I'd officially announce it instead of hinting at it on twitter. Maybe I'm revealing too much, but since I can't work on it for another week, I thought I'd at least give you that.

The song during this trailer is "Outro," by m83

     I also came up with a machinima video that, if all everything goes smoothly, will be in production in the summer. So far, I only have a relatively short scene outline written up. Those few that have read it so far have told me that it's actually pretty good, so I'm pretty happy about that. But, like the "Outro" video, working on it has been put on hold due to school work... I've been trying to come up with a fitting subtitle to it, but it's proving to be much more difficult that many other naming endeavors. A couple titles I have in mind are "Halo: In Bonum Omnium," which is my personal favorite, although the word 'Bonum' has understandably left people making jokes. That's the ONLY problem with it in my mind. Otherwise, it's short and leaves the audience wondering what it means, whether it be in English or in Latin, which I felt was rather fitting for it considering the themes and the ties the title has. I also had "Halo: Ad Legionem," but I'm not a fan of saying 'Legionem' and it doesn't give the same impression on me that the first one does. So right now, I'm still on a quest to find a shorter way of saying "Consequentialism." If any of you have any suggestions, please comment! I'm always open to suggestion.

     In actual Halo news, a magazine cover was leaked which details Halo 4 and the new enemies (SPOILERS?), which may turn out to be the Forerunners themselves, or their constructs, which I have been speculating on for a LONG time now (yes, this is my stroking my ego and being proud of myself). If you'd like to see, check out:

-Philosophical Concepts:

     This is something that I really feel I don't do enough of on here. I started out fairly well in this area, but as I said above, I have found the focus of this blog to be more and more of just an e-journal with the occasional Halo 4 news and speculation. And, as a Philosophy major, I feel somewhat obliged to at least bring up certain concepts, discussions, or even stray thoughts that I may have.

     On the car ride back from spring break, I was thinking about how people with rather dark pasts seem to be considered the adults with the most character, assuming of course, that they bring themselves out of that darkness into a more... civil and social person that is more of a part of society. An example of this would be a former hard drug addict or something. They seem to have the craziest stories and people seem to remember stuff like that.

     On the subject of the institution of punishment, we need to ask ourselves if punishment is okay to do, because when we punish someone, we are effectively doing the same thing that the one being punished has done- setting back the interests of others. In the Deontological defense, Hegel proposes a thought experiment for us. Imagine that Humans are naturally a part of the rational world, where things make sense to us, and how we understand everything. When we harm someone, by which I mean setting back the interests of someone, we figuratively step into another world. This world is irrational and does not make any sort of sense to us. Up is down, black is white, everything is backwards. The Deontologist justifies punishment by saying that when we step over into the irrational world, we must be punished in order to be brought back to the rational world. From this standpoint, punishment is considered an honor, rather than an all out negative.

     So while I was driving, I considered Hegel's thought experiment and came up with an interesting conclusion. Often, we find ourselves happiest when we simply go back to normal from a place of punishment. Do we not feel most grateful when we are taken from shitty circumstances and brought back to normal? How often have you found yourself saying, "Boy, I'm glad that's over?" Probably enough times to make my point valid. Sure, we achieve a great bit of happiness when we are taken from normal to extraordinary, but it's a different happiness, more fleeting and temporary, and generally, I'd venture to guess that such circumstances would not leave us with much of a lesson or anything to take with us for future experiences and reference. I think at least part of why that is, is because when we are punished, we know understand and recognize actions that are considered irrational and begin to familiarize ourselves to the rational world, where the deontologist would say we "belong."

     The question I'm leading up to is this: Is it rational (logical) for Humans to act irrationally in order to bring ourselves further along? The more irrationality we experience, the more punishment we get, the more learning takes place, and potentially, the more civilized and more intelligent we will become? As Thomas Wayne says in Batman Begins, "Why do we fall down? So we can pick ourselves back up."

     Now, let's be clear here, I don't necessarily mean for people to take this and go intentionally harming anyone, and I don't necessarily mean conventional punishment like prison or any physical punishment (although they are definitely applicable too). For most, I'm referring to everyday punishment: work, school, practicing anything. We must pay our dues to achieve a lasting happiness.

     It sounds vaguely like I'm concluding this thought process, but I keep the thought open to any variables that could change the outcome. What I mean to do from all of this is ask simply, 'Is it rational for us to act irrationally, considering the potential outcomes?'

-In my plans:

     Now, I must go back to planning homework for the rest of the week. I have two papers due and an essay exam all on April 3rd, followed by a Math exam on the 6th. I'm trying to get the papers done asap, but I don't have the prompt for one until tomorrow and the website for a survey that needs to be completed for the other is currently down, which has delayed that paper by at least a day, which is at least a day later than when I wanted it done by. Chances are that I won't be writing much until after then.

     So, for now, I'll leave you with "Go Outside," by Cults. Enjoy!

Until next time...

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Sæglópur (Dream Journals #4)

     Hey all! I recently came across a bunch of dream journals that I wrote throughout the summer and fall of 2010 and some scattered throughout 2011. I started reading through some of them I found them mostly bizarre, non-sensical, and hilarious. So I'm going to post one or two everyday until there are no more. So without further adieu, I present my dreams. There are obviously some that are NSFW, so I won't be posting those. Sorry, folks.

[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]

October 21st, 2010

     I had won another big Halo contest [apparently I was foretelling the future] and got to work with Rooster Teeth in a Red vs Blue promo. While I'm there, I talk to Burnie about getting a job there and he says that if I do well with this, he would reconsider. So, then I'm controlling my guy in Halo and for some reason, there's a live studio audience behind us... Anyway, I say my line but I accidentally bob the character's head way too much. Gavin, who was directing, starts freaking out at me because I screwed up, yelling at me that I failed and to get out of his sight. I try to resolve the situation and ask why we can't just do it again. He screams, "NO! YOU HAD ONE CHANCE AND YOU FUCKED IT UP! GET OUT!!" I look over at Burnie, looking for help, but he's just looking down and shaking his head. I was so confused and so sad... I walked out without finishing the promo and I failed my test to work at Rooster Teeth...


January 1st, 2011

     I'm late to one of my random high school classmate's grad party across the lake that we both apparently live on [He actually does live on a lake, but I don't]. I'm try to get ready and everything together to leave. I have flashes of the party as if I'm already there, but then I'm suddenly back at my house across the lake. I look across the lake and I see three wooden warships coming towards my house. The warships are filled with bees, come to sting us all to death. The dream ends with flashes of throwing molotov cocktails onto the ships and burning the ships and bees to death.


May 10th, 2011

     I was eating lunch with my family at, I think, Cheesecake Factory. I clenched up my face for some reason [Think Hiro, from Heroes], and my skin became black and blue like an x-ray and then I became invisible. Overjoyed with this new ability, I went around doing all sorts of things whilst invisible [Except for the one thing any normal person would do, which is spy on people]. It was the coolest thing ever. Later on, I came back to my family, who was still at Cheesecake Factory, and they told me that I actually wasn't invisible and that everyone that I encountered was just playing along. I could no longer turn invisible and I was furious. I woke up, tried again, went back to sleep and tried a third time and it still didn't work...


[Now, I know my dreams up to this point have been a little all over the place, and a couple (the very first one in particular) may have left anyone who read feeling very awkward and uncomfortable. For that, you have my apologies. That wasn't intended... But past all of that, my dreams have been very random and weird, but this last dream was one that I found was a very... profound one for me. I was originally going to have this its own post, but I thought it was a fitting end to the Dream Journals.]

October 31st, 2010 [Yes, 2010, not 2011]

   I am sitting in my friend's house with him and a couple others. I am also feeling much... better, than normal, but it begins to become something else. The slightest movement or adjustment I make sends bolts of electricity through my body. I can feel anything and everything my body does. We are watching Jackass 2.5, I think. Soon, I've lost all focus on the movie and am now just rolling my feet because of the intense feeling that it sends through me. Slowly moving up as my muscles tense up and I feel paralyzed. I can only imagine the electricity surging through me as a rainbow, changing color as it moves up my spine. My posture changes with the feeling as it moves up to my neck. I feel like I can't move anything. I realize I'm holding my breath. It's in my unmoving neck, in my throat, until finally I exhale sparkling lights and particles, blinking different colors. So pretty, and so real.

     Something happens with the movie that has all but disappeared to me. People laugh, and I can feel their laughter on my skin. It feels like soft bubbles popping upon impact, sending a wave of rainbow electricity through me again [This phenomenon is called Synesthesia, which is the crossing of sense perception.]. Nothing has ever made me feel so good in my life. I feel myself sinking into the big comfy chair in which I reside. I could stay here forever. Is my mind racing? Or is it that things are getting slower?

     The world starts becoming darker. A shadow begins to consume my vision. Tiny black tentacles lead the charge, flailing as they take my sight. My eyes are closing, but I can't stop them from doing so. I'm giving up control of myself to this sensation. I am floating in a black abyss, silent and alone. Is this to be my fate for the rest of eternity? I want to get out, but I can't. I pull my phone out, and fight to keep my eyes open even the slightest bit so that I can text my friend about what is happening to me. I need to get these messages out. It feels like it's been so long since this all started...

     I'm suddenly pulled upwards by the base of my neck, through black clouds that is seemingly unending. Faster and faster my body is thrust, until I break through. I see the horizon of the planet begin to curve as I move up, still accelerating. Finally, I slow to a stop. I look down and I see Earth rotating. I am in the atmosphere. I look up and around. The sun is bright, the stars are plentiful, and the galaxy is more beautiful than I've ever seen it on Earth. But such a sight did not last long.

     Like waves against a shore, rainbows begin washing over space, trailing thick black smoke behind it, until another rainbow wave washed over it again. This, more than anything else I've ever seen has got to be the most unusual and gorgeous thing I've ever seen. If only such waves did exist. The black smoke, however, gave me a feeling of uneasiness, or more rather, sadness. Decaying rainbows turning into so unlike what it is in movement... I can hear soft chimes all around me. They're soothing, but soon I begin to hear some semblance of children's laughter, which was rather off-putting for me. It became a little creepy, but it disappeared soon enough. I try to move through space, but to no avail. I am simply floating above planet Earth as it rotates silently in giant bubble made of black smoke and rainbows.

     Seconds turn into minutes, which turn into hours, which turn into days, until eventually, I realize that I'm never leaving this place. Entire years go by, I have begun forgetting about the life I had before this... The only thing I have here is something I strove for in my past life- a place to observe people objectively. So it is here, where I will understand Humanity and their history in real time.

     Billions of years go by. I am still here, unable to do anything but watch. I do not age, and I cannot do anything to even end my life. I am stuck. I've seen entire civilizations rise and fall before my eyes. Everyone I once knew is dead. They are but fleeting memories. I can hardly remember any details about them. I send messages back in time through my phone to people who no longer exist... Everything seems unchanging. Eventually, Humans die out, destroyed by their own hands... At this point though, my study is now useless. I still remain floating above an empty planet, ruined by those who ruled it. More years of silence. I've become a mad man, a shadow of my former self. I've given up any and all hope that anything will change. Until, finally, it does.

     I rotate my body to look behind me. There is a crack in the clouds, opening, blossoming with light. I'm already crying at the sight of it. This is it. This is the end. The crack is now a full circle, and beyond the opening, a vast land made of clouds bathed in golden light. More than anything, I know that this is the land of those divine beings that Humans worshipped so. A ray of light shines directly on me, the last Human. A giant hand reaches outwards from the golden light, waiting for me to take hold and move on. I take out my phone one last time, to tell her sorry, and to tell him to tell everyone that I loved them in life. It's time to move on, and to become something no other person ever could- a god, a divine representation of the world that died long before me.

     I'm scared- frightened of what will come, frightened to leave everything I ever knew behind. Truly, this is a new dimension that I am being invited into. I must be brave. I take the hand, knowing that there is nothing else to do. Together, we go past the clouds into the heaven I thought never existed, boldly going where no other has gone before, doing what no other has done before, becoming something no one else ever could. I close my eyes as we pass through, and then I wake up...


Until next time...

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Dream Journals #3

     Hey all! I recently came across a bunch of dream journals that I wrote throughout the summer and fall of 2010 and some scattered throughout 2011. I started reading through some of them I found them mostly bizarre, non-sensical, and hilarious. So I'm going to post one or two everyday until there are no more. So without further adieu, I present my dreams. There are obviously some that are NSFW, so I won't be posting those. Sorry, folks.

[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]

September 20th, 2010

     Robert Downey Jr., my mom, and I [Why does Robert Downey Jr. keep popping up in my dreams? Get out of here.] were making a giant lego Harry Potter cake. It had the castle in the background and the Quidditch pitch in the front, but my mom accidentally cut the cake wrong and the cake was backwards [If you're confused by this, don't worry- I am too]. We somehow managed to completely fix it without having to rebake it or cutting it. The finished product was super awesome amazing. These other two douches were helping us also. I had to pee really badly and I pissed in one of their beer cans and I think he drank it [I feel like a 5-year old wrote this...]. I then went out with Downey to learn what it was like to be him. He was like the hard-ass good guy [What the fuck does that even mean?!]. We drove around a bunch and then he got a call. His friend, who was an elderly woman named Maevis [*facepalm* Of course that's what I named her.]. Maevis was in her late 80s and was just diagnosed with terminal cancer. She also was refusing treatment. We drove over to a tent hospital where she apparently was. Maevis' daughter and grand daughter were standing outside. Downey walked in while I stayed outside waiting with Maevis' family. Inside, it sounded like he was beating the shit out of her. He wasn't actually punching her though. He was yelling at her to stay alive and fight it. It just sounded like punching [*shrug*]. He walked back outside and I could hear her life-support machines blinking faster, which I could only presume meant that she had found the will to live... or something. The mom, her daughter and I were all in awe. He got back in the car and left. Then I woke up. [I literally have no clue what the fuck just happened. That was totally bizarre.]


September 21st, 2010

     I got in another bad car accident, but this time it was on a beach. I was completely fine though. Then I got a job at roller rink place at a carnival on the boardwalk in California. I had a hard time learning how to skate, but once I finally got it, it was really easy and I became pro (not actually pro, but just really good). I remember being on a boat with these two guys just a few meters from the shore [since when do I measure in meters?]. They were getting annoyed with me because they were conducting some research [and apparently I was just there to be there?]. I looked into the water and there was a shark, but it was like a mini great white, right there just 20 meters from land. I managed to fall in. I'm not sure if the guys pushed me or I just fell like a moron, but they didn't help and they started going back in. I started swimming frantically because the shark was coming for me. I got to about five feet from the shore when it was on me. I punched it in the nose and veered away to my right, but then it slashed its way back and bit me in my side. I don't remember the rest... Roller skating was fun though! [Of course it was.]


September 23rd 2010 [I just read over this. If you thought the other 2 dreams were fucked up, get ready...]

     For some reason, Iw as in Japan and I started seeing shadow people everywhere. They were black, had cartoonish bodies with triangular heads. I remembered how Dan used to see them all the time too [I wonder if that's actually true]. I called him up and he told me that I had to talk to the family that I was staying with. I told them and they turned into dragons/dragonoids (which are like half human half dragon, for those who couldn't figure that out). We had to go deep into a dungeon underneath some tall building and complete some quest in order to stop everything that was happening. So we're going and then we come across these two ornate gauntlets, both of which were right-handed. One had a pistol attachment while the other just had a curved handle protruding outwards. At the end of the handle were two clips where some attachment was supposed to go. We take them and keep moving forward. We eventually find an axe head that was the missing piece of the second gauntlet. We attach it. The dad dragon tells me that we have to fight and that I have to defeat him to move on. he takes the axe gauntlet and whips it on no problem. I'm sitting there going, "Huh? What the fuck?" [I'm having this reaction again right now.].

     He starts charging at me before I can even put the pistol gauntlet on, let alone figure out what is happening. I'm struggling with it and suddenly he's on top of me raising the axe in the air. I put my gauntlet on and barely block the axe. He tries to force the axe through my arm. I then remember that I can detach the axe head from the gauntlet. I do it and throw it away so that he can't get it anymore. he then proceeds to try and beat me with the handle. I block it again and try to parry it, and then shoot him in the face so that it'll finally be over. I shoot, but I miss somehow even though it was point blank. Either that or it just didn't hurt him. I kept trying to shoot but there was only one bullet in the gun the whole fucking time. After that I got out from under him, dropped the gauntlet and ran like hell. I ran into the next room which looked suspiciously like the set of the music video for the song from Robot Unicorn Attack, snow and all [Which has apparently been blocked on youtube... Otherwise I would link it.].

     The dad dragonoid comes busting through the wall, charging at me like the fucking Kool-Aid guy. I start running again until I see the last room. It was at least 50 feet tell and was a great hall built for a king. There were giant red banners hanging down from the ceiling and fires were lit all the way to the end of the room. I ran inside, hoping I could end this before the dad killed me. Then my alarm woke me up.


     Wow... That was a fucked up set of dreams in hindsight, and all in a row too. Anyway, I hope these weren't so weird that you felt you couldn't continue reading. Check back in for more tomorrow! Until then, I leave you with "Violent Dreams," by Crystal Castles. Enjoy!

Until next time...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Dream Journals #2

Hey all! I recently came across a bunch of dream journals that I wrote throughout the summer and fall of 2010 and some scattered throughout 2011. I started reading through some of them I found them mostly bizarre, non-sensical, and hilarious. So I'm going to post one or two everyday until there are no more. So without further adieu, I present my dreams. There are obviously some that are NSFW, so I won't be posting those. Sorry, folks.

[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]

August 8th, 2010

     Mike, Matt, Zach, Maryrose, myself, and few other people who I don't remember were in a class together doing video projects. Mike and Matt area team, Zach and I were a team, and Maryrose was teamed up with some other person. We present our video and for whatever reason, Mike and Matt have to redo theirs. They were reenacting a scene from Dumb and Dumber. They asked me to help them out because I am relatively experienced in video production. I told them I would help. [What makes this better is that in real life, Mike recently had a dream where he was making movies and he asked me a number of times to help him make one in real life for the same reason.]

     So we were on the sidewalk in some neighborhood, presumably their's. Mike was trying to memorize his lines but he just couldn't do it. He and Matt go through different ways to try and get him to remember them. I told them to use cue cards because it will be easiest. I continued on by saying that I even saw cue cards being used in their first video because one accidentally went into the frame. They insisted that what I saw never happened, but I was certain that I saw it. While they continued rehearsing lines [that in reality they would know by heart since they were children], I wrote Mike's lines on some cue cards that we apparently had. I held them up for Mike to see. He told me that it would never work. I told him to at least give it a try. He did, and low and behold, it worked perfectly. After all is said and done, they re-presented their video and they got a good grade, despite what happened. The teacher then presented the next project which involved an on-screen kiss. Rather than small groups, the class was split in half, and to top it off, for some reason it became assumed by everyone that I was going to be kissing Maryrose [Now, what I haven't mentioned is that I had a crush on Maryrose from like... 5th grade to 6th or 7th grade, so when this came up so many years later, I was like wtf?]. I was like, "Holy fuck... after all this time...? Seriously?" It was at this point that I remembered about Kelly [who was a good friend of mine and whom I ALSO had a major crush on throughout 2010...]. I tried to change Maryrose into Kelly to make the whole situation less weird, but for some reason I couldn't. But thankfully I woke up, so it's fine.


[I normally write these in present tense, and changing it all over to past is difficult, so I'm keeping them as they are.]

August 11th, 2010

     I was cast in a pretty minor role in a movie starring Robert Downey Jr. and Joseph Gordon Levitt. The scene I was in was with Levitt. It took place in a factory and I'm fairly certain it was a choreographed dance sequence. My part involved pushing a rolling bed while Levitt danced atop it with his female co-star whilst I danced. It was a rehearsal and it ended with me tripping and Levitt falling off the bed, stepping on my face and one of my teeth falling out. To avoid a lawsuit, the production company gave me a ticket to the premiere of another movie of their's. I was also to go with Levitt and Downey. They had to go to the premiere as a group to help promote the movie that we were working on. 

     We go to the premiere and it turns out that Downey doesn't know bout me. I try to talk to him because we got separated from Levitt and everyone else. So I'm trying to get him to turn around and I can tell he's trying to get away from me. I put my hand on his shoulder and he ducks down and dodges left. He then goes and grabs an Iron Man mask from someone going to the premiere dressed as Iron Man... [At this point, your guess is as good as mine.] So I end up losing him in the crowd and he has the tickets... So I'm looking around for anyone that I know that was with the group, but I can't find anyone. The premiere is also at a theatre on the lake, so this is all taking place on a boardwalk. I turn, looking out at the lake and the rest of the city on my left. I see a huge billboard on the city side for a Batman-Superman WWE super event [Like I said, I have no clue either]. Below it was a billboard for the next Thor movie [and the first one hadn't even come out yet].

     So I'm stuck out on the boardwalk without the people I'm supposed to be with and no ticket... The movie begins and soon, I'm one of just a handful of people left outside. I'm sitting there, eating cotton candy that I got from one of the many concession vendors outside of the theatre, when suddenly Joseph Gordon Levitt comes up behind me and asks me where I've been. I tell him what happened and he pulls out a little red rubber ball from his pocket and tells me how Downey has one also and that if either of them presses in on the ball, it acts as a panic button so that the other can get them out of there and get hidden from crazy people [....]. He goes on to explain that Downey had no idea who I was or what had happened that got me in this position, so he thought I was some nut case stalker. It turns out the movie wasn't over yet and Levitt wanted to get out of the theatre before the crowd. So he and I became good friends after that. He tells me that he has a wedding that he has to go to but he no longer has a date, so he asked if I wanted to come along [At this point, I can only presume this sounds like this is leading to Levitt and I becoming a gay couple, but I can assure you, it was a gesture of good faith to make up for what had happened, and like I said, he and I became friends.] The wedding was for Michael Jackson or Prince of someone like that, I can't remember. Levitt introduced me to Will Ferrell and talked and had lunch together. It was pretty fucking sweet. I don't know if we ever finished the movie we were working on after that though...


August 14th, 2010

     I was working with a G.I. Joe team to help extract some files from some bank-looking place. I was given an Uzi and I had no clue what the fuck I was doing [well, that's typical]. Anyway, we get the files and I was the first to exit the bank. As I run out, a Cobra drop ship comes down and starts letting out troops to come kills us. They don't see me right away, so I start shooting before the rest of the Joes come out. I start running into the parking lot, past them, looking for cover. I take down two guys out of like ten... As I'm running, I feel these sharp pains in my back, my right side, and the left side of my jaw. They were shooting me up. The pain was the same type of pain as a previous dream where my neighbor, Ralph shot me twice with shotgun at point-blank range. By the time you're dead, you stop feeling the pain though. You actually feel pretty relaxed as the world slows down around you. Your body becomes heavier and heavier until you finally collapse on the ground and fall asleep, and die.


     Well, that's all, folks! Like I said, I'm going to be putting these up every day until I'm out of them, so tune in tomorrow for another set of em. In the meantime, I leave you with "That was just a dream," by Cut Copy. Enjoy!

Until next time...

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dream Journals #1

     Hey all! I recently came across a bunch of dream journals that I wrote throughout the summer and fall of 2010 and some scattered throughout 2011. I started reading through some of them I found them mostly bizarre, non-sensical, and hilarious. So I'm going to post one or two everyday until there are no more. So without further adieu, I present my dreams. There are obviously some that are NSFW, so I won't be posting those. Sorry, folks.

[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]

July 29th, 2010

     This has been stricken from the record, due to evident awkwardness...


July 31st, 2010

     All I can remember is going up to the help desk in Barnes and Noble and asked if they carried Halo: Evolutions. They asked if I wanted the tall, hardcover version or the shorter paperback. I asked for the paperback [Which is SO unlike me]. They took me to a shelf-end, moved this thing [which I presume is a book cart or something]. It turned out to be the hardcover version. One of the employees asked another girl that was walking by where the paperback version was. She took both of us to a table and there it was. I look at it, finally in hand, and then notice the price. It was $60... I was like "What the fuck? How much is hardcover?" Turns out, it was like $100.


August 1st, 2010

     I was back in San Diego [which I had just come back from], in the water between Coronado and the bay where Comic Con is held. I was on someone else's yacht, in their media room. They had a very nice flat screen and really nice couches and lighting, but in the corner they had a shelf filled with blank CDs and DVDs, which suggested that they were considerably frugal, despite what else they had... [At this point, I hope you've noticed that in my dreams, my logical process becomes skewed and is usually inductive] The owners were a family: a mom, dad, son and daughter. I was watching TV with the son, the parents walked in and I met them. We joked around a bit and something happened where I needed to take a shower afterwards [I don't exactly remember, but I think a drink was spilled all over me or something]. I went down a level and closed the door to the bathroom, which was enormous, more like a bath floor than a room. Anyway, it turns out their little daughter was in there as well and I didn't know it until the parents came barging in thinking that I had done something to their daughter [Who, like I said before, I had no clue she was even there. I want that matter straight. I did nothing.]. There was a panic, for both me and everyone else and it ended with me literally being thrown off the side of the yacht. Then I woke up.


      So there ya go, everyone! Day one of the dream journals is completed. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I did. Now, I need to get to bed because it's 2:30AM and ironically, I'm staying up writing about what I think about when I sleep. I leave you with "Daydream," by Youth Lagoon. Enjoy!

Until next time... [Sweet dreams.]