Hey all and welcome back! I feel like I should be saying that to myself. I wrote last on... Thursday or Friday I think it was and it feels like that was fuckin forever ago. Since then I've been relatively busy being super stressed over an Ethics exam which consisted of writing two randomly-chosen essays out of a possible five in 40 minutes or less. Thankfully we got the easiest question and the one I studied the most, so I feel I did very well.
Yesterday I wrote a small story/blog on my tumblr page. Oh, that's right, I have a new tumblr page. You can visit it here: http://jakewhlr117.tumblr.com/. Anyway, I was-... well I'll just let you read it.
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Today, SSX comes out. Boy am I excited to play this game again. Not necessarily because I enjoy snowboarding, but because I used to play SSX Tricky on the PS2 all the fuckin time when it was out, so my interest is mostly nostalgia-oriented.
My plan today was after my first couple classes, during an hour and a half break, I would head on over to Gamestop, pay off the other $55 I still owed on it and that would be that. After this past weekend, I have next to no cash on me and I prefer not having to spend my debit money because I don’t know how much is in there… So, I would be using the money I had on my Gamestop PowerUp card, which was only $20, which meant, in order to spend the least amount of money from my debit account, I was going to need to sell some games. The frontrunners to sell back were Skyrim (because I have it for the PC now & I’m never going back), and Mass Effect 2, which I JUST got in the mail from Amazon, so I could prepare for ME3. I haven’t even gotten to touch ME2 though because I’ve been relatively busy and somewhat lost interest in catching up on ME2. I was also considering Forza 4, which I also just got…
So as I’m sitting in my car this morning, studying for my impending Ethics exam, I realized that not only did I forget the games I was going to sell trade in, but I forgot my wallet. I quietly sighed to myself, cursed my Ethics test yet again for making me forget my stuff, and continued studying. In between classes, rather than heading to Gamestop as planned, I headed home to go get what I needed. I picked up the games and headed back out to class. After said class, I headed on over to the mall, Gamestop and SSX awaiting me. I grab the games, reach into my bag for my wallet, and wouldn’t you fuckin know it, I had yet again forgotten my wallet. “Mother fucker,” I said to myself, now unable to blame my Ethics exam and instead cursing my uncharacteristically forgetful manner.
I put my seat belt back on and trudged back home… I would just go back later tonight and do it then because it’s rush hour and there’s too many people about on the roads. I came up to my room and found my wallet immediately sitting on the loft in my room, right where I knew it was from the beginning. A lingering thought popped into my head that perhaps I hadn’t spent all of my Gamestop gift cards that I got for my birthday like I thought I had. I checked where I normally keep extra cards and low and behold, I still had $100 in Gamestop cards. Finally, a reason to rejoice. I no longer have to part with games that I have barely gotten into (sans Skyrim).
So that’s been my Tuesday. I did well on the exam, found I don’t have to get rid of games to get a new one and am now relatively free for the rest of the week. It feels good knowing that I won’t have any major stressors until the first week of April, which I just found out is probably going to be my hardest week of the semester, but I’ll wait until then to unload my stress through the internet. Hope everyone is having a fantastic day! :D
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Since then I have gotten SSX and it's pretty damn fun, but I don't want to spend a whole ton of time on it right away and then wear it out, which is kind of what I did with Forza 4...
There's not much of anything on my plate right now, so what I really want to get to right now deals with, what was considered, a leaked 343Industries vidoc showcasing some Halo 4 cinematic effects. Before continuing on, I'll let you see it for yourself.
Now, since then Microsoft has come out and confirmed that this video is actually fake. I'd like to say next that whoever made this thing did a damn good job of a fake, and to fill it with such amazing imagery to boot. Personally, I hope it somehow turns out that it actually IS real. I don't just hope though. Something tells me that it could be more real than we're taking it.
Many people who saw this video were left pretty confused, and almost rightfully so. It seems that most everyone took this vidoc as a new trailer that is dealing with the story, which left everyone going "What the fuck did I just watch?" This notion also resided in me, but only in a hopeful manner, not in what I thought it actually was.
Let's ignore that this is (so far) a confirmed fake. Let's make the assumption that this actually was real, officially, and was put out by 343i. How do we view this? What impact does this have on how we see the Halo universe and the upcoming Halo 4? I want to start by what I think it actually is- showing off. Everyone seems to only be seeing what they want to see, and that is "Halo 4 Cinematic..." instead of seeing that "Effects" comes right afterwards. This has next to nothing to do with the story at all. Rather, it's just showing what the Halo 4 engine is capable of creating. The blue plasma fire, the explosions, the metallic look, the pulsing blue lights that are so frequently seen throughout the entire Halo franchise. This video isn't a new teaser for us to dissect. It's too early for that. Halo 4 is still probably around 8 months away. This vidoc, which, remember, are videos to show us behind the scenes stuff, like cinematic effect examples like these. So, as I said above, this video would be nothing more than showing off what sorts of things we will see in Halo 4. Nothing more, nothing less.
But what if it actually was dealing with the story? I imagine, as we've seen already, people would be left scratching their heads with a look on their faces that cannot seem to figure out what it is they just watched, and if 343i was actually bringing R2-D2 into the game. To that particular notion, I face-palmed a bit. You see this spherical mechanical thing that looks like it's having sex with the barrel of a rifle, and the first thing you think of is fucking Star Wars? Your mind shouldn't be turning it's focus somewhere that clearly has nothing to do with this. You should be wondering what this actually is. Assuming this was real and it was solely story-focused, I would have guess that it was some mechanical implant within Master Chief that was effectively turning him back on when he's waking up from the cryo tube. This entire video lends itself to the beginning of the Halo 4 announcement trailer, where they are showing that very thing! Before moving on, I also thought that, based on the pretty blue lights that are being shot through microscopic darkness, is showing us the birth of a monitor, much like (SPOILERS) the birth of 343 Guilty Spark that we see in Halo: Primordium.
Despite what the focus of what this video could be showing, there's still a very profound image I get from it. Everything is dark and quiet, and yet there is still bits of bright and colorful beauty in the darkness, alone, not concerned with the struggle with Humanity and Covenant, the discovery of lost histories, and the destruction of all sentient life in the galaxy. No, these are so much small and seemingly insignificant in comparison, not worth mentioning or showing in the Halo universe. But why not? Why not show us this sense of peace, quiet, and beauty that seemingly has nothing to do with anything we've seen so far? If this video was real, and was from the story, then I applaud 343i for showing us something we're so not used to seeing at any point during Halo's history. It gave me the sense that despite everything that is going on in the Halo universe, none of it really mattered. It presents a much deeper theme into Halo; one that, for most, doesn't have a place within the story, or possibly was just in such a small place that no one ever thought to look. But when you do look, I think it speaks volumes. This video, I think, has sold me Halo 4 more than any other Halo 4-related item. It's just a shame that it's fake...
Well, that's all I got going on in my world right now. I hope you enjoyed reading. I leave you with "New Theory," by Washed Out. Enjoy!
I know I said I may not get to writing something, but sometimes things happen and it changes your plans... figures, right? I've talked a couple times recently about trying to make things more positive, and how I am trying to take more time and connect with other people (generally through Twitter). But it does go.. a bit deeper than that. This may also end in a bit of a downer, and just know that is not my intention either. Wow, I know what I'm going to say and yet, I can't find how to write it... This is turning out to be my worst blog yet.
I guess I'll just say it... The past few years, I've been fighting depression, which is mostly brought up from feeling socially inadequate, feeling ignored, not understood, and not cared for by those whom I care for. These sorts of feelings plus other external stressors have.... even led me a couple times to the point of attempted suicide...
...There I said it. That's my secret, and for all to see no less. This is something that even my family has only known for like a month now. But I have and still am working past it.
Now, I consider all of you on twitter as my friends, some of you as close friends even. You're the people I can connect with, and you all connect with each other, and that's what I love. Someone, whom I consider to be a close friend, and actually probably my best twitter friend got in a bit of a verbal scuffle with some other people. I don't want, nor do I feel it necessary, to go into detail (especially since some, maybe many, witnessed it too). All I was left thinking was, "What was the point in any of that?" Nothing was proven one way or another and it ended pretty much exactly as it had before it started. Nothing was gained, but the sense of happiness was lost. You call someone out on something that may not even be true in the first place, and in front of so many people. And for what, exactly? There was no good reason to do such a thing, to anyone, or for any reason. If someone wants to have their secrets, then they should at least be allowed that, because it's none of our business one way or another. I don't get it.
I've also mentioned in the past that I am an Atheist. I don't believe in any sort of god or gods, heaven or hell, a collective conscious, a deeper connection that we can sense, or even understand. I try to see things as they are, not as I want them to be. For all intensive purposes, for me, we are alone (for now). And yet all people do is try to hurt and kill one another, and again, I ask, "for what?" All we have is each other, here on our tiny globe, floating through space on time.
Why can't we strive for more? Why can't we see that it's just us here and that's all we really need? I know others, like myself, deal with feeling social anxiety, depression, and not being good enough for everyone else. We become so focused on how we aren't perfect or we aren't who we should be, how other's should be punished simply for who they are, our unwillingness to let people just be who they are, and all because they aren't like you or me. So I ask again, why not strive for more? Why not try to be more than what we are now?
I'm... feeling shaken up right now, it's an overwhelming feeling to try and explain past such simple words as love and friendship. I hate to see many others that don't see any other way and subject themselves to living in a world of personal misery. There are so many unhappy people, and there's nothing more I want to do than to change that. I don't want to see others living through silent pain, suffering, and loneliness, only to die the same way they lived. I want to see a world community, filled with friendship, "the biggest group of friends the world has ever seen..."
I see our society, our world, crumbling right in front of us, and no one even takes the time to ask how everyone's day is going. No one seems to care to change themselves, their lives, their environments. Stop waiting for the world to change. Instead, change the world. It seems like a tall order, but who knows, you may find, like I did, that it's easier than you might think.
It's not me that makes me sad anymore. What makes me sad is that other people are sad. So stand up and change the world, so that everyone can be a part of it. Change it, so that one day, when Humans are no more, we may be remembered, not as a species destroying itself for no reason, but as a species that loves. I consider myself a friend to everyone, a friend to the world. And if I can feel that way, then why can't you?
This song is called "Raconte- Moi Une Historie," by M83. If it's said no where else, than I want to known here that after I die, I want this to be the last song played at whatever service is had, because this is how I feel. And to anyone that's ever feeling alone, just know that you're not, because if no else is there, I am.
P.S. When I first started seeing the number 117 everywhere, all my friends, family, and I tried to give it some meaning, something that we could hold onto. Once I changed my gt to One One Seven and made it my thing, it ended up leading me to so many people that I consider my friends, and that's where the true meaning lies: friendship.
Hey all, I'm going to be relatively busy this weekend, so I don't know if I'll be getting around to writing much f=of anything other than practice essays for an upcoming exam... Plus I don't usually put up as much philosophical stuff as I may like, so to fix both issues, I am putting up a paper I just wrote on a passage from Thomas Hobbes' Leviathan. It deals with world and societal reformation so that Humans can have a more peaceful world to live in.
I'm also going to put the song up here, in case you just aren't that interested in Human nature without law. This is "11th Dimension," by Julian Casablancas. Enjoy!
In Leviathan, Thomas Hobbes
sets up rules and ideas with the goal of setting up a world and society that is
much more peaceful than the one he was living in. When Hobbes is discussing
Human nature without government, he says, “To this war of every man against
every man, this also is consequent: that nothing can be unjust. The notions of
right and wrong, justice and injustice, have there no place. Where there is no
common power, there is no law; where no law, no injustice. Force and fraud are
in war and two cardinal virtues” (Leviathan, p. 78). In short, Hobbes is
describing how Humans act in a natural world, without government. This passage
is very important to everything Hobbes is trying to accomplish and is full of
different things to talk about. If society implemented the foundation of ideas
that Hobbes is proposing, then a volatile society, like Hobbes’, could benefit
and reform itself into one that is more peaceful and longer lasting. I will be breaking
down this passage and go over what Hobbes means by the war of all versus all,
how Human ethics are affected in nature, and how a central power is necessary
to uphold Human ethics. I will then briefly go over my own views of those ideas
that Hobbes is discussing.
When Hobbes says, “…this war of every man against every man…”
(Leviathan, p.78), he is means that in nature, everyone is working primarily on
their own self-interest and trying to survive. Since there are no rules to
abide by, the threat of being hurt or killed is a very real thing. Everyone
works for himself or herself in the war for survival. For Hobbes, the
circumstances under which this sort of scenario would happen is in a natural
world, where there is no central power present to reinforce the morals and
ethics that we know today. But how are our ethics affected by this natural
world and the constant war for survival, where no person can be trusted?
With the understanding of what Hobbes is describing with the war of all
versus all, we move on to the difference in ethics that we know compared to how
they would exist in a natural world. Hobbes continues on by saying, “…this is
consequent: that nothing can be unjust. The notions of right and wrong, justice
and injustice, have there no place” (Leviathan, p. 78). This part of the
passage is rather self-explanatory. What Hobbes is saying that given a world
governed by the forces of nature, rather than one by society, all of the ethics
and morals that we base society on disappear. There are no made-up rules that
we feel we should abide by. The sense of justice that we know is suddenly
thrown out of the window and is replaced by one that permits anything and
everything, personal abilities permitting. There is no longer any sense of
right or wrong, except in fulfilling our own needs to survive and working
towards our self-interests. To Hobbes, in this world, nothing is unjust and
there is no such thing as right and wrong, as we perceive them. Everything is
permissible. This is true even in such examples of rape or killing an innocent
child. In short: In nature, whatever happens, happens, and there is not much
standing in the way of that, except for the prospects of ethics and society
that governs us.
Now, at this point, it is important to begin remembering the bigger
picture that Hobbes is setting up for us. He is trying to create a society and
government that is peaceful and is on our terms (so far as we can achieve
them), instead of the seeming lack of order in nature. Without such power,
Human life is, as Hobbes puts it, “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short”
(Leviathan, p. 76). In order to work past these risky and volatile conditions,
there needs to be a central power, bigger than us, that controls how we act
with one another. Continuing on with the original passage, Hobbes says, “Where
there is no common power, there is no law; where no law, no injustice”
(Leviathan, p. 78). When Hobbes says “common power,” he means something that
can control most, if not all of Humanity. Since we are the top animals on
Earth, it is left to us to create that power from and for ourselves. Our common
power is a central government built on our ethics. Without such a common power
upholding and enforcing laws that we create, then there are no laws to uphold,
and therefore, there are no laws to follow.
So, to paraphrase the process that Hobbes is following: For Hobbes, the
world is a very volatile place where society is seems to be crumbling and
people are starting to expand their minds and reforming society. Hobbes is no
different in this endeavor. He understands the knowledge we have gained and how
his society works. He hypothetically destroys his society and throws everyone
back into nature. With his prior knowledge, he then re-forges his society into
one that recognizes how nature works and tries to work against the chaos that
everyone has been exposed to, all in the attempt to create the blueprints for a
society that is more peaceful and empirical than the one he knows.
When it comes to my views and opinions on Hobbes, I guess I will just
say this: The more I read and understand what Hobbes is saying, the more I feel
like at some point, I will be going back in time and writing this book myself.
At almost no point have I found myself disagreeing with what he says. He
reasons out his points effectively and what he says are things I have often
found myself thinking too. Perhaps it may be because, like Hobbes, I see our
society as one that is headed to its destruction, and more hopefully, a
reformation that continues seeking the same values that Hobbes was looking for:
peace, science, and the spread of intellectualism.
People seem to think that the society that we have been raised in is
just how things always work, and do not take the time to recognize the forces
of nature without the only setting we have ever known. I completely agree with
what Hobbes says about the lack of justice and injustice in nature, the loss of
right and wrong, and how Humans are easily willing to kill one another to get
what they feel they need to survive. What I feel Hobbes neglects to distinguish
in his nature scenario is whether such a society existed prior to the natural
take-over. This is an aspect that I feel is quite important to take into
account. In a natural world where so prior society existed, where Humans create
order blindly and without much guidance, such a society would eventually grow
into the one that Hobbes knew and the one that we know today. However, if there
were such a prior society, it would most likely be one similar, if not
identical, to ours. This difference, I feel, makes Hobbes’ overall point that
much stronger, because those people that survive the destruction of our society
would still have all of our prior knowledge and would probably try to reclaim
it. With such prior knowledge, we could, and hopefully would, be able to reason
out the same points that Hobbes is explaining in Leviathan. When Thomas Edison was going through his seemingly
failing invention process for the light bulb, he was quoted as saying, “I have
not failed. I have found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” This applies to
everything we create, and society is no different.
In the instance where a previous civilization falls and people are left
in the state of nature, as Hobbes describes it, there is still a fair chance
that society and peace could not be recovered. The chaos from the transition
could be too powerful for us to endure or there could be too few survivors to
reclaim peace and order. I do agree that, given circumstances like these, that
state of nature that Hobbes describes is considerably accurate. From that
point, I think anything could happen to Humanity. People are willing to hurt,
kill and rape already, but in a world where there is nothing saying not to do
that, such things would run rampant and unchecked. So many think that these
sorts of things cannot happen and that we are invincible, unable to fall, but in
reality, anything could put us on such a path, whether it be a reason outside
of our control or ourselves. In either case, we have the potential to create
wonderful things. What we need is some recognition of how things work in
reality, outside of our minds.
So, to conclude, Hobbes does a wonderful job of reasoning and creating a
blueprint of a newer, more peaceful society. He paints a picture of a world
that is very real, and yet is relatively unseen, and shows us that knowing such
possibilities and potential can help us reform and recreate civilization to
prolong a peaceful Human existence.
Boy, has it been a while since I wrote last... or at least that's how it feels. Perhaps there was just a lot going on since the 9th. So, I suppose we shouldn't waste any time. Let's begin straight away. After all, you didn't come here to read about me talking about talking about things, now did you? I consider most everyone as a friend, and I try not to leave friends disappointed. But I suppose I should digress...
I went home for my birthday. I figured my family would be happy to see me and celebrate my birthday with them, and I also had to get new tires. The weekend was pretty fantastic. Bob also came home for the weekend and Tassi, Bob, and myself went to see Phantom Menace in 3D. It was okay, but Tassi and I both fell asleep in between the second and third acts. I also finally got to catch up on Season 2 of Portlandia. We went to Bob Chinn's Crab House and my mom got me a cake, even though I was there for such short a time. As I figured I would, I got the current iPod Nano to replace the iTouch that got fucked up by being dropped into the toilet. I also got two big boxes of Strawberry Hello Panda and mini snickerdoodle muffins. For those that don't know, Hello Panda are pretty much the current day version of Koala Yummies. For those still confused, I'd just like to say: You've missed out if you've never gotten the chance to have these. They're are tiny hollow cookies with a tiny cute panda drawn on the rounder side and each cookie is filled with filling which is usually chocolate or strawberry, and I am a huge sucker for strawberry stuff.
My sister gave me a bit money to go towards the tortoise fund, which I was very happy to get because it was looking to be a few hundred more dollars than I had anticipated... But now, I am not so sure about this plan. I was so preoccupied and during the weekend that I didn't really think about the tortoise at all, and I was gradually forgetting about it and losing interest. (Lizz, if you're reading, I haven't spent the money. I'll talk to you about it at some other point). In any event, I started wondering how I had gotten so close to actually buying the tortoise. The idea of it now doesn't seem too wise, as it's very costly, we're not allowed pets in our place, and if I had gone through this loss of interest after I had bought it and everything, I would be deeply regretting it (not to mention I'd be stuck with it for the next like... 50 years?). But why did this whole thing come into my head to begin with? If you read my last blog, which I wrote the night before my birthday, I was in a real negative mood by the end of it. I was feeling angry, sad, and moreover, lonely. In that mood, I think buying a pet tortoise seemed like a quick-fix solution to my loneliness. It was silly and impulsive of me and it could have fucked me over and I'd be stuck.
So now what do I do when I go into this state again? Well, that's kind of what I figured out this week. If I remember correctly, this past Tuesday was Valentine's Day. Thankfully, my Tuesday actually wasn't that bad, as I successfully masked my loneliness with light humor and being friendly. Wednesday is when things finally got to me. Wednesday is my day off in between heavy class days, so I feel the need to be moving and busy, but with nothing to do or talk to, so I begin focusing in on tiny things that shouldn't matter, I overreact to them because what the fuck else am I going to do? So Wednesday night ended with me going to bed at like 9PM, in an attempt to just sleep the shittiness away. Thursday morning, nothing had changed. In fact, things were getting worse. The weather in Carbondale was rainy and very cold and I was stuck sitting in my car for an hour and a half waiting for ANY spot to open up. Meanwhile, I was live-tweeting my negativity for all others to feel. While I sat in my car, I wondered how one goes about meeting new and similar people. Maybe meeting new people wasn't the issue though, maybe it's how I treat the friends I have now. Sure I try to be nice and polite to everyone as I can be, but I still push people away when it comes to them wanting to be friends with me. I get friend requests all the time from people. I've made tons of friends on twitter that I connect with so very much. All of these people are part of the gaming culture which I have been feeling distant from lately, and a lot of people have tried to be friends with me so that we can play games together, but I just don't want to.
On Xbox Live, I tell people that if I know them, I'll accept their friend requests, but that still leaves me getting requests on Xbox Live to play games with them. The thing is that I just feel so uncomfortable talking through mics and headsets, or even over the phone. IMing/Facebook chat is the same way. I don't know why, I feel comfortable with texting or twitter, and yet, I can talk to people face-to-face pretty well, I think by now. Face-to-face is more of a transitional thing that I'm working through. In any event, it gets to the point that if I'm playing a game that has multiplayer on it and one of these people signs on, I will go out of my way to appear offline so as not to deal with it. I then have to hold my breath waiting to see if they saw me online in time to send me a request or not... The point is, is that despite me considering these people my friends, I try to be as inconspicuous to these folks as I can be, I imagine, to the point where they consider me as a minor acquaintance, and it's this that puts me into these negative spirals. So it looks like I have to change something, and it looks like it's going to have to be me that changes.
So now, I am try to make more of an effort to be actual friends with people, be nice to everyone, muscle through the uncomfortable, because more than likely, I'll be happier afterwards. The past few days I've been occasionally posting tweets and statuses asking how people's days and weekends have been going. I've been getting at least one or two responses each time, but that's all it needs to be at this point. Starting a friendly conversation with someone, and being able to continue that conversation. If, for most of the time, my friends are stuck inside of a computer or Xbox, I suppose I can at least put that effort forward, since I don't get to see them in person that often. Once I put this together, I'll be damned if things didn't start going better immediately.
Later on Thursday night, I tried to do the same thing with my roommates and Tom (Congrats Tom, on finally getting mentioned, I know it was bugging you.). We sat around in our living room watching various things. Zach had a bottle of wine left from Valentine's, so he poured himself a glass. I was convinced, mostly by Tom, to have a glass of my own. I had it, and it was pretty awful, but I finished it, and then had three more. I was relatively tipsy, since I don't drink ever. So, I went to bed pretty happy with how the day turned out, and on Friday, Dan was coming down.
Friday started out nicely. I got up at about 8:30 and went to work out. I had to start out with the stationary bike though because I found that my shorts were a bit too big to run in without eventually falling off. I tried re-tying them, but as it turned out, they were already tied as tight as I could get them, to the point of the shorts actually scrunching up on the waste lace. When they were untied, I was pretty baffled by just how big they are to me now. It was like a before and after picture where the person is wearing an old pair of giant pants. So that made me pretty happy.
I also talked to a bunch of my twitter friends throughout the day as well. I asked about an upcoming Grifgoose tournament on Halo Reach that is coming up and now I am in a team with IGLGrifball and PMS_NightOwl. I think we still need a fourth, but I do not really know right now. I also did my first Follow Friday thing on Twitter. I put up those that I talk to most often and those that I had talked to recently. I would've put up way more than I had, but then I thought I might be clogging people's twitter feeds, so next week, I'll be doing it again. In either case, I was feeling the love from a bunch of people who were feeling it from me. A couple people even decided to do a #FF of their own, both including me on the list. It's a small gesture, but I was feeling pretty awesome after that. And so unlike Thursday morning, things were now only getting better, because Dan was on his way down to visit me for the weekend.
Dan came in Friday evening. We spent the next couple of hours catching up on things (mostly a more-detailed version what I just explained above.). We came downstairs and started hanging out with everyone else, who had begun drinking. Later on, I was convinced to actually go back to the bar, which doesn't sound like much, but on multiple occasions, when people heard that I was going to bar, they got really excited. Even afterwards, our neighbors heard I went to the bar and they freaked out, saying that they couldn't believe they missed it. I didn't know I held such influence. The bar we went to is called Copper Dragon, and as you may imagine, there is a big dragon, made of copper, that is hanging up over the dance area in front of the stage where a band called 'Mike and Jim' played a bunch of popular songs that I could only get mildly interested in; stuff that is difficult to dance to. Tom was already very drunk by the time we got to the bar, so I ended up drinking half of his Blue Dragon, which is like a Long Island Iced Tea, except that it's blue and sweet, that Zach bought him.
I'd like to take this time and really congratulate Tom Nitti for not only getting his first mention in my blog (which he has been yearning for ever since I began my blog), but this is now the third time he's been mentioned. So congrats, Tom. Twice in one week, I have drank, which I don't do, all thanks to you.
So anyway, the rest of the weekend was absolutely splendid. We bought the Monopoly: Electronic Banking, which uses credit cards and a card reader instead of actual bills, and it was awesome and super fun. I can't wait to do a game night again. Dan ended up winning, because for some reason, he has some natural ability to win at board games... Dan was also able to get my Windows 7 running on bootcamp. It was ultimately to get Star Wars: The Old Republic working, but there was one problem after another with it. We did put Steam on it though, and now I have Skyrim on there. I'm going to be switching over to playing it on PC because of the modding aspect of it. So far I'm still trying to figure out if they're working or not, since I haven't gotten to actually play yet... In any event, the weekend is sadly over, but it was one of the best weekends I've had in a long time. Dan, we need to figure out when to do this again.
Well, that's all folks! Cherish your friends and they'll reciprocate. I leave you with "With you, Friends (Long Drive)," by Skrillex. It's not so much dubstep as his other stuff, but it's still one of my favorite Skrillex songs. Enjoy!
Welp, it's now technically 12:45 right now, making it February 9th, which means I am now 22 years old. And to tell the truth, I'm not too sure if I could be any less excited about it. I don't know if it's just because of how fast this month has been going. Even today (now yesterday), I had to be reminded that my birthday was tomorrow (now today). My family has asked me time and time again what I want for my birthday and the only thing I can think of is a new ipod nano because my itouch fell in my toilet when repositioning my Bose sound dock. Not to mention that other things have been on my mind like the two tests I have in less than 12 hours from now, trying to get our fucking internet fixed, fighting to keep my weight down from the weekend and trying to find a productive way to spend my time.
I will say though, before moving on, that my thrice-a-week workout has been going well. I missed Monday, but I made up for it today. My last actual blog, which was about my predictions for Halo 4 got a staggering 477 views, which blew me away. The most views I've had past that is like 56, so this was quite a jump. Thanks to Halo.Bungie.Org for featuring it. For those of you who read it and are interested, I did manage to forget a semi-crucial detail in that (SPOILERS): we'll most likely be meeting the Librarian and the Didact in some incarnation in The Reclaimer Trilogy, if not in Halo 4, and that the UNSC Infinity is using a duplicate of 343 Guilty Spark as its shipboard AI, which lends itself to my theory of the Infinity coming in and halting the forerunner defensive systems. But I digress.
I may be picking up a new family member in the next week or so. The past few days, I've been feeling the need to have something take up my time. I almost went out today and bought a beta fish, just to sort of play around with and keep me busy, but no. We just got rid of our fish tank back home because no one was really paying much attention to it, not to mention the expenses of keeping it up... Don't worry, the fish and the tank now have a new home. BUT, I think I may move ahead with something I've wanted ever since I was a wee lad- owning a turtle. Well, not really a turtle, but a tortoise, because I want to hang out with it and whatnot and apparently turtles aren't the best for that. I've been doing some research and budget permitting, I think that's what I am going to do. In terms of naming, I was thinking of just naming it an everyday colloquialism like "Man" or "Dude." It feels like there's something to it though. A name like Dude is just so anti-climactic and bland that it seems to really fit the nature of a tortoise and, yet, you wouldn't expect such a name, would you? In terms of conventional names, I was thinking something like Chauncey. In any case, I have to wait, research it a bit more, and then actually buy it.
Soon, Dude... Soon.
In the meantime, I am still trying to find a new hobby to occupy myself. I bought two new games yesterday and the day before and I am already bored and disinterested in both. The first game, Forza 4, is definitely fun in its own right, but I am not a car guy and I can only go around laps so many times before wanting to drive my Ferrari off a cliff. I'm not going to sell it back though, as I feel it's something that just needs to be played when I'm feeling it. The other game on the other hand isn't going to receive such mercy from me. The Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning is a new WRPG that came out on Tuesday. It's a single-player third-person type deal, which is fairly typical, but what really drew me to it is how the game is stylized. Everything is very fantastic-looking, where everything glows brightly in interesting colors that blend so nicely and I felt it was worth spending $60 on. I did play the demo prior to buying it, which I felt was entertaining enough, but once I got into the actual game, I wasn't even interested enough to read any of the dialogue. So, at some point, I will be heading back to Gamestop and selling it back. I would just go back to playing Skyrim full time, but jesus, I've played the fuck out of it. So I'm taking a break from that, leaving me with next to nothing to do in my free time. And with no real interest in Halo MP and no substantial Halo 4 news, there is not really anything in the gaming community that I'm even remotely interested in. Yes, I know Mass Effect 3 comes out ...at some point next month I think, but I finally lost my motivation for it half way through ME2. Nothing is calling out to me.
I feel like I'm going into a vegetative state today in my boredom. Throughout the day I tweeted a bunch, hoping I would get any sort of conversation going, and, as per usual, not much of anything, at least until about 8PM. I don't believe in silly things like curses but god fucking damnit, I seem to have a curse that when I post or say anything on the internet, whether it be this blog, forum posts (especially), or just anything where I'm looking for feedback or just talking to someone, and I get jack shit. Sure, some views here and there but rarely does anyone ever actually say something back, and that is my biggest pet-peeve. You could put the sound of someone chewing food obnoxiously loud with their mouth open right in my ear on a loop and it still wouldn't bug me as much not being responded to. I mean, isn't that what the internet is for? ESPECIALLY Twitter and Facebook? Why does anyone put something on the internet? Because we want to share it with other people and have people respond to us. Or am I crazy on this? If you ever watch Scrubs, there's a scene in the later episodes where Ted, who is the hospital's cowardly and spineless lawyer, is sitting with his group of friends and no one even realizes he's there. I post something, maybe a couple responses, when I comment, all other comments stop. Am I just annoying? If I am, please tell me, because I will stop. This sort of paradigm really makes me hate the fact that it's the one place I always am. It's to the point where I am actually considering living my own version of "Into the Wild," except that I wouldn't go to Alaska. I'd probably end up just moving to Portland or Seattle... or an island in the caribbean, working as a bartender or a deckhand on a fishing ship (and yes, this is an actual contingency plan of mine in the case of all other post-college plans failing).
What makes it even worse is that I go to the internet so that I CAN talk to people, but it's a format of communication that I just feel uncomfortable with nowadays. And yet, I don't really talk to many people in real life because I'm surrounded by people that are so unlike me. The people I want to talk to and be with are, for all intensive purposes, inside my computer and in my phone. They may as well be figments of my imagination; my imaginary friends...
So yeah... I know, not the most joyful of posts, and on my birthday too, but I don't drink at all and there's not much in the way of gifts that I want, I have to wake up in seven hours and endure my busiest day of the week, which also has two exams, and then another on Friday, after which I am driving six horrid hours back home (mostly just to get my new tires put on my car)... *sigh*
So, I leave you with "The Happy Birthday Song," by Andrew Bird. Enjoy!
Hey all! I am slightly busy at this juncture, so as a sort of cop out (in case I don't get to actually writing a blog this week), I am just going to post a list of brand new songs I have just downloaded. Chances are that I will be writing tomorrow, since it's my day off, or Thursday, as it is my birthday. So stay tuned on that front. In the mean time, enjoy all these new songs! The songs with asterisks preceding them are ones that I got particularly into. Enjoy!
Twin Sister- All Around and Away We Go:
Real Estate- Easy:
Real Estate- Green Aisles:
Real Estate- It's Real:
Destroyer- Painter In Your Pocket:
John Talabot- Destiny (feat. Pional):
John Talabot- When the Past was Present:
John Talabot- So will be Now... (feat. Pional):
*Washed Out- New Theory:
Washed Out- Eyes Be Close:
*Washed Out- Soft:
Hello, Blue Roses- Shadow Falls:
Small Black- Despicable Dogs (Washed Out Remix):
*St. Vincent- Cruel:
*Madeon- Pop Culture (Live Mashup):
And I suppose I'll add a new favorite video to tag along with the Madeon song:
Yes, I am starting to learn some of these moves, primarily the sequence from 0:43-0:56. To that, I say:
Hey all! In light of recent rumors and discussions, I feel this is a good time to go through my predictions for Halo 4. I haven't dealt with this subject since the concept art trailer that was released at Halo Fest. I got my Cotton Candy Trix yogurt (which is easily the best flavor) and I'm ready to unleash some mad logical predictions to your faces. Let's do this.
->UPDATES are at the bottom!<-
BE FOREWARNED, SOME SPOILERS AHEAD (from Glasslands and Primordium)
First, let's deal with the basics. From the announcement trailer for Halo 4, we can put together the plainly obvious. Master Chief and Cortana are back (Huzzahs are in order simply for that) and the back half of the Forward Unto Dawn is being pulled into the giant mechanical butthole of the mysterious forerunner planet that we see at after the credits of Halo 3 (Legendary difficulty). Okay, we got our opening part for the premise of Halo 4 and, what has now been dubbed, The Reclaimer Trilogy.
Fast forward to Halo Fest 2011, where, at the Halo 4 panel, we got a couple new bits of info, along with the concept trailer I am about to discuss. First though, let's get the small bit out of the way- the music and sounds of Halo 4. The new sound director, who's name has escaped me..., is really making a change in the tone of the music. Most people instantly likened what little we have heard so far to the sounds and music of the Mass Effect series. This seemed to leave a bad taste in many peoples' mouths, considering it as being 'unoriginal' and taking away from the wondiferous sounds that Marty O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori gave us for 10 years. While I will miss those signature sounds, the fact of the matter is, is that it's a new era in the Halo universe, one in which is a flourishing renaissance of forgotten history and knowledge that Humanity, and the rest of the galaxy is uncovering. It's a time when the galaxy is moving out of what I would liken to being the dark ages of Europe, before the wealth of knowledge and art set them back on track. It's a time when we are venturing into very unknown territory, and by "us," I don't just mean Humanity, I mean all of the known sentient species in our galaxy, mainly the Sangheili and Humans. We walk into the dark, vast unknown, and I feel that what we've heard so far captures that tone so very well, regardless if these sounds are familiar. Now, 343i obviously doesn't feel like pissing off their fans, so I have a feeling that we'll be hearing stuff similar to what we've known in the past. And with the sound effects, it's a constant strive for newer, in-your-face sounds, with a bigger punch to them (in the context of gunfire and explosions).
Also during the Halo 4 panel, we got to see a bunch of concept art pieces put together for a small trailer for us to sink our teeth into, and sink our teeth we did. The night of the Halo 4 panel, I wrote a small article discussing what we are seeing and making connections to other things we've seen/heard in the past, and at Halo Fest. I'll link the video just below, and then I'll copy/paste the article below that.
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"Mind you, this is somewhat lengthy, but if you want to know what I feel is going to happen in Halo 4, you WANT to read this. I feel it's quite well reasoned and the community should see and discuss.
Hey all! By now I imagine most of us have seen this by now. But what sort of information can we gather from it? With some speculation and logical reasoning, I imagine we can gather a fair bit. And if you think about the video in a chronological order, it makes a TON of sense.
0:07- We start out with an alien planet that actually looks quite natural, contrary to the mysterious planet we've been seeing the whole time. But what makes it weird is that it transitions to the Forward Unto Dawn plunging into the planet, engines first. This type of transition sort of implies that it's continuity cutting and that the artificial planet and the natural looking planet are one and the same. This, and a specific point that I will bring up in a little bit may support this.
0:27- We see next the ship has crashed, presumably, inside the dyson sphere and we see the chief coming out of the launch bay that he crashed into at the end of Halo 3. From here is the searching portion.
0:30- The next set of images are of the master chief looking out onto massive backdrops and forerunner structures. It is here that I want to explain a small theory.
Today at the Halo 4 panel, Frankie stated that these forerunner structures and technology aren't abandoned and offline. They are very much online. It has been theorized that the MC will be acquiring some Forerunner armor for himself. And with Cortana well on her way to rampancy, her life is very much at risk. It can be seen and read in Halo: Cryptum that Forerunner AI lasted so very much longer than human AI ever had a chance of. With Cortana's longevity at stake and MC's armor being more make-shift than it ever has at this point, and with all this running Forerunner stuff online, I would imagine that somewhere along the way, these problems will be addressed and fixed. By which I mean, Cortana is going to be going through some forerunner upgrades to make her life-span last much longer, while the chief will receive some new toys. Though I imagine this wouldn't happen until the end of Halo 4-the beginning of Halo 5 (in the same way he went from Mk V to Mk Vi in Halo 2). I really wanted to bring this up instead of the Halo Fest music during the Q&A session, but it was likely that they wouldn't be saying much of anything. Also at the Halo 4 display at Halo Fest, we see Cortana in a... curled up position, very forlorn looking and sad. Surrounded by the black of space, and her impending rampancy, her light is flickering out and will probably be a huge issue in Halo 4. PLEASE DISCUSS!!
Now back to the video: 1:01
The next big theory starts here. We see what look to be Human vessels heading into the same planet that the Chief is in. I presume these are Human mostly due to the 2 pelicans flying along side them. And I say they're heading into the planet because if you look in the background, it looks quite the same. And if you have been to Halo Fest this weekend, and have seen the Halo 4 display, seen here, we see the picture titled, "Grandeur." This picture is of a UNSC vessel over "an alien planet." A planet quite like the one from the beginning of the concept art video? And if the two planets are one and the same, these 2 pieces of art pretty much shout out to the audience that the UNSC was able to receive Cortana's stress beacon (from Halo 3) and they have come to rescue her and the chief, because at this point, the stuff they know is quite valuable to the Humans.
1:10- We see the chief looking upon Forerunner ships being deployed (Primordium cover art). VERY INTERESTING POINT that supports other theory that will be stated in a moment.
1:13- ship wreckage everywhere floating around space. Like I said before, if you take this video in a chronological manner, it probably means that the UNSC forces sent to retrieve the chief and cortana have been decimated by the Forerunner ships we have just seen launching.
We see the Halo 4 logo.
1:30- We see a non-organic being that is humanoid in shape but with a bright blood-red eye, which, with a few exceptions, tends to imply rampancy in AIs. Presumably forerunner, these humanoid machines are, i imagine, going to be our new primary enemies, and the ones that have attacked the UNSC forces. You can see the full imagine in here
So what do you all think? I am quite excited to see what is in store for us in Halo 4! Please discuss everyone!
P.S.- One more side theory:
This new trilogy is called "The Reclaimer Trilogy." When one reads this, they must have to wonder why that name and what significance does it have in representing the overall story? Once MC and Cortana are all fixed up and Forerunnerfied, we will see them spearheading the movement to (Drumroll please) RECLAIM this technology from the now rampant AI that has taken over. Once this trilogy is over, The chief and cortana will have helped humanity turn to a new age with new knowledge and history and technology. These characters will usher in a new age."
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Okay, now, with all of that in mind, I'd like to clarify a couple things. Certain aspects I feel I have misinterpreted, mainly being the presence of marines within the Dyson Sphere. After further analysis, I do feel that after the forerunner-UNSC battle outside of the sphere, which I still feel will happen, we will get a ship or 2 in there and we will have marines fighting alongside us. And while I really got hooked on the idea of being pretty alone throughout the game, I suppose I can deal with marine presence. And might I add, before moving on, that I think it's possible that the UNSC has found a map of these worlds in Onyx after the retrieval of the Spartans and Halsey.
But perhaps I should first deal with the Forward Unto Dawn. It's clearly being ripped apart and shot at by the Forerunner defensive systems. It makes perfect sense from a mechanistic view of nature and society that there are anti-bodies to fend off whatever is viewed as a threat. The UNSC is going to have to fight their way into the planet. That's why I feel there will be a major space battle to witness in Halo 4 that will either end in two ways: First, Master Chief and Cortana manage to disarm the defensive systems and the sentinels are disabled, or (and I feel this is more unlikely) The UNSC Infinity, which is the UNSC's newest prototype warship, which is outfitted with as much recovered Forerunner tech on it as it could hold is going to come in and somehow achieve the same thing, allowing the remaining UNSC ships to enter the planet. In either case, Marines will be touching the ground and will be fighting our new "ancient enemy" with us.
Which brings me to my next point, the ancient enemy. I theorized that the ancient enemy was none other than now-rampant A.I.-controlled forerunner tech. This theory has gone in a new direction for me. In one of the terminals from Halo: CEA, 343GS discovers a crashed ship of unknown origin. He never ends up seeing the inhabitants of the ship and that's pretty much where that little bit ends. Now, time and time again, we've heard that CEA, Glasslands, Cryptum, and Primordium have major ties with Halo 4, so I think it's pretty safe to say that the crashed unknown ship holds our new enemy within. While they are obviously dead now, if not from the crash then from the destruction of Installation 04, I think we're going to get to see the face of this enemy in Halo 4. The picture above depicts what is presumably this new enemy, which is clearly mechanical, instead of organic, so we can at least assume that it's not the Flood...yet. I definitely feel we will be encountering the flood at least once more by the end of this trilogy. But if this new enemy isn't rampant AI, then what the fuck is it? Well, right now, I can't say for sure, as this picture and the CEA terminal are our only prevalent clues so far. I'd also like to add that in Glasslands, 343i is clearly setting up a new war between the Humans and the Sangheili, who I feel we will being seeing again sometime soon. Possibly a race between the UNSC and the Sangheili sects to gain Forerunner tech. I see their presence in Halo 4 being similar to that of Halo 3. They show up here and there, but they're more of an after thought compared to the bigger issues of the game. But amongst all of our various enemies, we still have friends- the Huragok .
Out with the old.
There are still clearly Huragok stationed within the planet, which can be seen in the concept trailer and in Glasslands. Despite being circumstantial evidence at best so far, I feel that the Huragok are going to be a huge part of Master Chief's and Cortana's well-being, in particular to the upgrades that I theorized about. Now, let's take a sec and go back to the announcement trailer. Master Chief looks CLEARLY different and there hasn't been much of any explanation so far that says why, and even Cortana looked relatively different. I am no longer taking how they look in that trailer as how they will look at the beginning of the game. The only way I could explain their look change while sleeping was that in between games, He went around and scavenged the ship for replacement parts, being that he is pretty well versed in how his armor works. I am now under the impression that this was just a way to show us the upgrades we're going to be getting alone the way in Halo 4, much in the way that before Halo 2 came out, we only saw him in the new armor. Like I said in my concept post, Cortana and the Chief are going to be getting some nice upgrades and I think that the Huragok will be the instrument of those changes. If there's any point I feel most confident about, it's this one.
In with the new.
And finally, I'd like to go over the entirety of the Reclaim trilogy.
I'd like to start by saying that I still stand by what I said in the Concept analysis post above. By the end of the Reclaimer Trilogy, Humanity, and subsequently, all of the other species will have regained their lost histories, which will usher in a new age in the galaxy. Past this though, I feel that Primordium really has more ties with this than with just Halo 4. Mainly the idea of the ingrained personalities that are acting subconsciously in MC and Cortana, and possibly Noble 6, as Natalie predicted. Now, I can't really speak on what is discussed in Primordium because the audiobook hasn't come out yet. I was pretty blown away and gave an audible "Holy fuck," after reading her theory. So for specifics and predictions, I recommend reading over her review and analysis of Primordium: http://grizzlei.blogspot.com/2012/01/im-going-to-warn-you-right-now-that-im.html
Now, every story has its end, and that includes Master Chief's and Cortana's story. I obviously can't say for sure at this point, but I think this trilogy will finally take their lives. And while it is sad, if my theory is correct, they will have almost single-handedly ushered in a new age of the galaxy. Whether they end up dying or not, I think we're in for one major ride for the next few years.
On a side note, which is still Halo related, there are rumors circulating around saying that at the end of this month, Microsoft is going to be holding a presser which will feature something big for Halo 4. Laird feels that we will be getting it even sooner than that, particularly during the Super Bowl. I have patience, but it's obviously not infinite, so I'm hoping that Laird is correct. Kevin and I have also been looking for signs for Halo Fest 2012, which is by no means confirmed at this point. I will say though, that one of the people who dealt pretty heavily with Halo Fest 2011 has been very quiet about what they are working on. I can only guess that Halo Fest is coming back as an annual thing. But, as I always say, only time will tell. So stay tuned, folks.
UPDATE: I did manage to forget a semi-crucial detail in that ( Primordium SPOILERS): we'll most likely be meeting the Librarian and the Didact in some incarnation in The Reclaimer Trilogy, if not in Halo 4, and that the UNSC Infinity is using a duplicate of 343 Guilty Spark as its shipboard AI, which lends itself to my theory of the Infinity coming in and halting the forerunner defensive systems.
UPDATE (3/5/2012): A new Vidoc came out today that shows the first behind-the scenes look at making Halo 4! It showed us in-game footage, which looks fucking amazing by the way, two new multiplayer maps, and a fandful of other stuff. I am quite interested in how 343i is going to do the Spartan IV storyline with multiplayer. Check out the new vidoc just below!
UPDATE (3/11/12): After doing a little reading on Halo wikia, I was looking over the Spartan IV program. Evidently I overlooked the bit in Halo: Glasslands when Parangosky mentioned that Spartan IVs were already being deployed and that some were stationed on the UNSC Infinity. So, assuming that I am correct in how we'll be seeing the Infinity in Halo 4, presumably, that means we'll also be seeing Spartan IVs in action during the campaign. That is simple speculation. Now, 343i has confirmed that Multiplayer is now being integrated into the official storyline of Halo, and features the Spartan IVs. I can't say for sure whether those stationed on the Infinity will simply end up being the MP storyline, or if they will be effecting the main campaign and Master Chief. Personally, when it was first brought up in Glasslands, I really didn't think that they would be coming up so quickly, otherwise I would've mentioned them in the original article instead of this update... In any event, I hope this bit intrigued some folks. Keep checking back in for more news and updates!
UPDATE (4/7/12): There has been some leaked info from the up-and-coming May issue of Game Informer magazine that is featuring Halo 4. I want to first note that, while I do pay some attention to the multi-player details, my main focus is on the campaign and plot details. So that being said, the GI article mainly seems to focus on the Multiplayer aspect, but there are certain features that seem to be carried over from the campaign side of things. Most notably, because it's something totally new, is what's apparently called "Forerunner Vision," which let's you look through walls and barriers. Seeing as the campaign generally sets up the MP side of things in Halo games, and considering it's called FORERUNNER Vision, that it's something we'll be getting to use at some, or possibly many, point(s) throughout the campaign. Multiplayer is, at least from my understanding, being called "Spartan Ops" now. From the description I've read, which is either word-for-word or could also be the dude's interpretation of it, All MP seems to be taking place ON the UNSC Infinity while it takes them into deep space for a secret mission. When I read it like that, I got the feeling that the Infinity may not be seen in Halo 4 after all, or at least in the campaign. If this were the case, then the Infinity won't be coming and saving the day for the UNSC from Forerunner defense systems and it will most likely be up to the Chief and Cortana. Thinking back, it's not that I don't think the UNSC Navy can't take care of themselves, but we almost always see them losing and now they're facing forerunner teach straight on instead of the Covy version, which they also had a hard time with.
Past those bits, we also had a linked pic of one of the article pages, while most of it was just words, there was a picture of an Elite Minor that wasn't wearing bracers on its forearms like they always have. It was a little weird for me to look at, the balance of blue to brown was odd because the arms are naked besides the shoulder pauldrons. Apparently, though, the Elites won't be making a comeback to MP. Understandable, considering that it's all S-IVs onboard a starship. So I think it's without a doubt that we'll be once again killing the Covenant once again, or at least seeing them. I still feel like they'll be the more seldom of our enemies, but only time will tell. In the meantime, Halo Waypoint moderators have since deleted info on the thread leaking it, and the magazine photo has also been taken down. Looks like we'll have to wait a week or so until the May issue hits shelves, not to mention the Halo 4 info that, I imagine, will be released at PAX East, which is happening right now.
On that note, I think I'll end it here. I leave you in the capable hands of two songs today: "Reclaimer," by Marty O'Donnell and Michael Salvatori, and "Undying Love," by Two Steps from Hell, which was featured in the Halo Fest 2011 trailer. Enjoy!
& yes, the Halo Fest trailer DID bring a tear or two to my eyes.
