[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]
October 21st, 2010
I had won another big Halo contest [apparently I was foretelling the future] and got to work with Rooster Teeth in a Red vs Blue promo. While I'm there, I talk to Burnie about getting a job there and he says that if I do well with this, he would reconsider. So, then I'm controlling my guy in Halo and for some reason, there's a live studio audience behind us... Anyway, I say my line but I accidentally bob the character's head way too much. Gavin, who was directing, starts freaking out at me because I screwed up, yelling at me that I failed and to get out of his sight. I try to resolve the situation and ask why we can't just do it again. He screams, "NO! YOU HAD ONE CHANCE AND YOU FUCKED IT UP! GET OUT!!" I look over at Burnie, looking for help, but he's just looking down and shaking his head. I was so confused and so sad... I walked out without finishing the promo and I failed my test to work at Rooster Teeth...
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January 1st, 2011
I'm late to one of my random high school classmate's grad party across the lake that we both apparently live on [He actually does live on a lake, but I don't]. I'm try to get ready and everything together to leave. I have flashes of the party as if I'm already there, but then I'm suddenly back at my house across the lake. I look across the lake and I see three wooden warships coming towards my house. The warships are filled with bees, come to sting us all to death. The dream ends with flashes of throwing molotov cocktails onto the ships and burning the ships and bees to death.
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May 10th, 2011
I was eating lunch with my family at, I think, Cheesecake Factory. I clenched up my face for some reason [Think Hiro, from Heroes], and my skin became black and blue like an x-ray and then I became invisible. Overjoyed with this new ability, I went around doing all sorts of things whilst invisible [Except for the one thing any normal person would do, which is spy on people]. It was the coolest thing ever. Later on, I came back to my family, who was still at Cheesecake Factory, and they told me that I actually wasn't invisible and that everyone that I encountered was just playing along. I could no longer turn invisible and I was furious. I woke up, tried again, went back to sleep and tried a third time and it still didn't work...
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[Now, I know my dreams up to this point have been a little all over the place, and a couple (the very first one in particular) may have left anyone who read feeling very awkward and uncomfortable. For that, you have my apologies. That wasn't intended... But past all of that, my dreams have been very random and weird, but this last dream was one that I found was a very... profound one for me. I was originally going to have this its own post, but I thought it was a fitting end to the Dream Journals.]
October 31st, 2010 [Yes, 2010, not 2011]
I am sitting in my friend's house with him and a couple others. I am also feeling much... better, than normal, but it begins to become something else. The slightest movement or adjustment I make sends bolts of electricity through my body. I can feel anything and everything my body does. We are watching Jackass 2.5, I think. Soon, I've lost all focus on the movie and am now just rolling my feet because of the intense feeling that it sends through me. Slowly moving up as my muscles tense up and I feel paralyzed. I can only imagine the electricity surging through me as a rainbow, changing color as it moves up my spine. My posture changes with the feeling as it moves up to my neck. I feel like I can't move anything. I realize I'm holding my breath. It's in my unmoving neck, in my throat, until finally I exhale sparkling lights and particles, blinking different colors. So pretty, and so real.
Something happens with the movie that has all but disappeared to me. People laugh, and I can feel their laughter on my skin. It feels like soft bubbles popping upon impact, sending a wave of rainbow electricity through me again [This phenomenon is called Synesthesia, which is the crossing of sense perception.]. Nothing has ever made me feel so good in my life. I feel myself sinking into the big comfy chair in which I reside. I could stay here forever. Is my mind racing? Or is it that things are getting slower?
The world starts becoming darker. A shadow begins to consume my vision. Tiny black tentacles lead the charge, flailing as they take my sight. My eyes are closing, but I can't stop them from doing so. I'm giving up control of myself to this sensation. I am floating in a black abyss, silent and alone. Is this to be my fate for the rest of eternity? I want to get out, but I can't. I pull my phone out, and fight to keep my eyes open even the slightest bit so that I can text my friend about what is happening to me. I need to get these messages out. It feels like it's been so long since this all started...
I'm suddenly pulled upwards by the base of my neck, through black clouds that is seemingly unending. Faster and faster my body is thrust, until I break through. I see the horizon of the planet begin to curve as I move up, still accelerating. Finally, I slow to a stop. I look down and I see Earth rotating. I am in the atmosphere. I look up and around. The sun is bright, the stars are plentiful, and the galaxy is more beautiful than I've ever seen it on Earth. But such a sight did not last long.
Like waves against a shore, rainbows begin washing over space, trailing thick black smoke behind it, until another rainbow wave washed over it again. This, more than anything else I've ever seen has got to be the most unusual and gorgeous thing I've ever seen. If only such waves did exist. The black smoke, however, gave me a feeling of uneasiness, or more rather, sadness. Decaying rainbows turning into so unlike what it is in movement... I can hear soft chimes all around me. They're soothing, but soon I begin to hear some semblance of children's laughter, which was rather off-putting for me. It became a little creepy, but it disappeared soon enough. I try to move through space, but to no avail. I am simply floating above planet Earth as it rotates silently in giant bubble made of black smoke and rainbows.
Seconds turn into minutes, which turn into hours, which turn into days, until eventually, I realize that I'm never leaving this place. Entire years go by, I have begun forgetting about the life I had before this... The only thing I have here is something I strove for in my past life- a place to observe people objectively. So it is here, where I will understand Humanity and their history in real time.
Billions of years go by. I am still here, unable to do anything but watch. I do not age, and I cannot do anything to even end my life. I am stuck. I've seen entire civilizations rise and fall before my eyes. Everyone I once knew is dead. They are but fleeting memories. I can hardly remember any details about them. I send messages back in time through my phone to people who no longer exist... Everything seems unchanging. Eventually, Humans die out, destroyed by their own hands... At this point though, my study is now useless. I still remain floating above an empty planet, ruined by those who ruled it. More years of silence. I've become a mad man, a shadow of my former self. I've given up any and all hope that anything will change. Until, finally, it does.
I rotate my body to look behind me. There is a crack in the clouds, opening, blossoming with light. I'm already crying at the sight of it. This is it. This is the end. The crack is now a full circle, and beyond the opening, a vast land made of clouds bathed in golden light. More than anything, I know that this is the land of those divine beings that Humans worshipped so. A ray of light shines directly on me, the last Human. A giant hand reaches outwards from the golden light, waiting for me to take hold and move on. I take out my phone one last time, to tell her sorry, and to tell him to tell everyone that I loved them in life. It's time to move on, and to become something no other person ever could- a god, a divine representation of the world that died long before me.
I'm scared- frightened of what will come, frightened to leave everything I ever knew behind. Truly, this is a new dimension that I am being invited into. I must be brave. I take the hand, knowing that there is nothing else to do. Together, we go past the clouds into the heaven I thought never existed, boldly going where no other has gone before, doing what no other has done before, becoming something no one else ever could. I close my eyes as we pass through, and then I wake up...
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Until next time...
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