Thursday, March 8, 2012

Dream Journals #3

     Hey all! I recently came across a bunch of dream journals that I wrote throughout the summer and fall of 2010 and some scattered throughout 2011. I started reading through some of them I found them mostly bizarre, non-sensical, and hilarious. So I'm going to post one or two everyday until there are no more. So without further adieu, I present my dreams. There are obviously some that are NSFW, so I won't be posting those. Sorry, folks.

[Note: At points, I may add my own commentary from now, usually to fill in context. I will put this commentary in brackets, like so.]

September 20th, 2010

     Robert Downey Jr., my mom, and I [Why does Robert Downey Jr. keep popping up in my dreams? Get out of here.] were making a giant lego Harry Potter cake. It had the castle in the background and the Quidditch pitch in the front, but my mom accidentally cut the cake wrong and the cake was backwards [If you're confused by this, don't worry- I am too]. We somehow managed to completely fix it without having to rebake it or cutting it. The finished product was super awesome amazing. These other two douches were helping us also. I had to pee really badly and I pissed in one of their beer cans and I think he drank it [I feel like a 5-year old wrote this...]. I then went out with Downey to learn what it was like to be him. He was like the hard-ass good guy [What the fuck does that even mean?!]. We drove around a bunch and then he got a call. His friend, who was an elderly woman named Maevis [*facepalm* Of course that's what I named her.]. Maevis was in her late 80s and was just diagnosed with terminal cancer. She also was refusing treatment. We drove over to a tent hospital where she apparently was. Maevis' daughter and grand daughter were standing outside. Downey walked in while I stayed outside waiting with Maevis' family. Inside, it sounded like he was beating the shit out of her. He wasn't actually punching her though. He was yelling at her to stay alive and fight it. It just sounded like punching [*shrug*]. He walked back outside and I could hear her life-support machines blinking faster, which I could only presume meant that she had found the will to live... or something. The mom, her daughter and I were all in awe. He got back in the car and left. Then I woke up. [I literally have no clue what the fuck just happened. That was totally bizarre.]


September 21st, 2010

     I got in another bad car accident, but this time it was on a beach. I was completely fine though. Then I got a job at roller rink place at a carnival on the boardwalk in California. I had a hard time learning how to skate, but once I finally got it, it was really easy and I became pro (not actually pro, but just really good). I remember being on a boat with these two guys just a few meters from the shore [since when do I measure in meters?]. They were getting annoyed with me because they were conducting some research [and apparently I was just there to be there?]. I looked into the water and there was a shark, but it was like a mini great white, right there just 20 meters from land. I managed to fall in. I'm not sure if the guys pushed me or I just fell like a moron, but they didn't help and they started going back in. I started swimming frantically because the shark was coming for me. I got to about five feet from the shore when it was on me. I punched it in the nose and veered away to my right, but then it slashed its way back and bit me in my side. I don't remember the rest... Roller skating was fun though! [Of course it was.]


September 23rd 2010 [I just read over this. If you thought the other 2 dreams were fucked up, get ready...]

     For some reason, Iw as in Japan and I started seeing shadow people everywhere. They were black, had cartoonish bodies with triangular heads. I remembered how Dan used to see them all the time too [I wonder if that's actually true]. I called him up and he told me that I had to talk to the family that I was staying with. I told them and they turned into dragons/dragonoids (which are like half human half dragon, for those who couldn't figure that out). We had to go deep into a dungeon underneath some tall building and complete some quest in order to stop everything that was happening. So we're going and then we come across these two ornate gauntlets, both of which were right-handed. One had a pistol attachment while the other just had a curved handle protruding outwards. At the end of the handle were two clips where some attachment was supposed to go. We take them and keep moving forward. We eventually find an axe head that was the missing piece of the second gauntlet. We attach it. The dad dragon tells me that we have to fight and that I have to defeat him to move on. he takes the axe gauntlet and whips it on no problem. I'm sitting there going, "Huh? What the fuck?" [I'm having this reaction again right now.].

     He starts charging at me before I can even put the pistol gauntlet on, let alone figure out what is happening. I'm struggling with it and suddenly he's on top of me raising the axe in the air. I put my gauntlet on and barely block the axe. He tries to force the axe through my arm. I then remember that I can detach the axe head from the gauntlet. I do it and throw it away so that he can't get it anymore. he then proceeds to try and beat me with the handle. I block it again and try to parry it, and then shoot him in the face so that it'll finally be over. I shoot, but I miss somehow even though it was point blank. Either that or it just didn't hurt him. I kept trying to shoot but there was only one bullet in the gun the whole fucking time. After that I got out from under him, dropped the gauntlet and ran like hell. I ran into the next room which looked suspiciously like the set of the music video for the song from Robot Unicorn Attack, snow and all [Which has apparently been blocked on youtube... Otherwise I would link it.].

     The dad dragonoid comes busting through the wall, charging at me like the fucking Kool-Aid guy. I start running again until I see the last room. It was at least 50 feet tell and was a great hall built for a king. There were giant red banners hanging down from the ceiling and fires were lit all the way to the end of the room. I ran inside, hoping I could end this before the dad killed me. Then my alarm woke me up.


     Wow... That was a fucked up set of dreams in hindsight, and all in a row too. Anyway, I hope these weren't so weird that you felt you couldn't continue reading. Check back in for more tomorrow! Until then, I leave you with "Violent Dreams," by Crystal Castles. Enjoy!

Until next time...

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