Friday, December 9, 2011

Feel the Love

     I just finished listening to the Joe Rogan Experience podcast which had Kevin Smith guest starring. For those who don't know, I have semi-close family relations with Kevin, not close enough however to where it's really anything like we see each other often. We've only talked a handful of times. Anyway, they talked about very interesting concepts about human physiology and the effects of drugs on people and other things like concepts of philosophy and the future and lost and forgotten pasts of Humanity. So I'm feeling very creatively inspired. I must take advantage of this. Let's channel that with the good stuff that's been happening lately into a nice little blog, shall we?

     I feeling good right now. Lots of good things have come since that awful final the other day. My grade came in for it... A 29/50, BUT I did manage to pass to class, so all remains well. I've just decorated my room and family room with some colorful xmas lights and even turned our rubber ficus into an awesome rainbow xmas tree (not to mention I broke a sweat putting up all the lights, so it's helping my weight loss as well, albeit only a tiny bit). 

     Thanks to a friend at the Child's Play Auction dinner, I was able to purchase a one-of-a-kind piece of concept art from Halo 4, and it's signed by Sparth no less! If you watch the Halo 4 concept art trailer, it's the one with the UNSC ships dropping into the mysterious Forerunner world. I can't thank my friend enough because yet again she has come through for me in so many more ways than she has to, mostly because she doesn't have to at all. She cares for the fans, and that's such a great thing to know. To know that the fans are cared about so much only makes me trust those in charge of it all even more. If you're reading, you're the best. Now onto more happiness, yes?

     I was out getting gas earlier on just before going to buy the lights and while I was standing there next to my car, I could here this girl talking to someone or something. She sounded so happy. There was a car waiting behind me because there were no open pumps. I couldn't help but make charismatically confused faces to the girl for his amusement. I don't know if he ever saw, but I hope he did and thought to himself, "hah, that guy can make some good faces." Anyway, while I stood next to my car, she suddenly hops out from behind my car and we make eye contact. "Oh!," I think to myself. She is very, very, VERY pretty and cute. Imagine Olivia Munn with less freckles and longer hair. She was also wearing a hippy-ish sun dress. Oh, she knows what I like. Obviously a free-spirited type who thinks more openly than most and has awesome and interesting tastes and music and cool concepts to talk about and neat stuff to go do. And she probably goes for more unconventional looking guys like myself because she's an adventurous woman. I make a brief smile, which clearly paled in comparison to her naturally lit up face, already smiling. She continues walking with an obvious spring in her step. She takes her eyes off me and looks ahead as she walks toward the small booth to pay.

     A guy is in front of her paying for his gas. Good, this way I can still watch her. Do I talk to her? I don't generally do that unless I'm on adderall. I remain standing, contemplating complementing her in some way that will start a conversation. She bends over slightly, throwing her hair forward and then back running her fingers through its waves. She gives an audible happy sigh of relief. The guy in front of her finally walks away and she steps up to the booth. "Hello," she exclaims to the guy in the booth, whom I can only imagine is miserable because his day is stuck out in a tiny booth while it's 30 degrees out and he's surrounded by candy that constantly tempts him as he hears their whispers in the back of his head. And then finally, at night, with no sun to even remotely warm him, when all seems lost to him in this life, this girl comes to his booth. A human embodiment of the sun itself. He should feel like he's come into contact with that which he can only describe as god, changing his life forever, knowing that despite the constant shit storm that surrounds him, there is still some sort of hope out there, moving around the world spreading the natural joy that emanates from her very presence. A single person that can change the world. This guy should feel what I feel right now.

     ....but he doesn't change his manner at all. He continues to sit there, almost motionless, as stoic as a rock. She gets her change and begins moving back in my direction. The man in the booth will remain their for the rest of his days; dying alone in the cold, because he didn't take advantage of the opportunity which is now walking away from him. Will I be different? Her eyes are already upon me as I stare almost blankly. She looks down for the briefest of moments, but as if in slow motion, her head raises, eyes on me, instantly seductive, a lock of hair falls over her right eye and she brushes it back. I try my best to smile even harder, not like a crazy person, no teeth showing, but enough to actually see a smile. I can't say anything though. Why? Why can't I say something like, "I like your dress and your hair and every bit about you from even the slightest of glances." As if it was an echo, she turned her head forward again and walked off, back towards her car. Now I was being left with the man in the booth. Neither of us would ever get this opportunity again. My eyes never leave her though as she trots back to her car. I should go over there. Yes. But my legs aren't moving. What the fuck was I doing?? The gas pump stops. I begin putting it back on the thing and close my gas tank, remembering the old man in the giant red pickup still patiently waiting behind me. I have to get in my car. Maybe I'll just pull around... But that seems so creepy and perverted somehow. Too many movies... It's done. I start my car and begin pulling forward. I can only imagine her watching my car as I pulled away from her...

     The thought of turning around remains, constantly trying to be reasoned out. I pull out onto the street, all hope of anything ever happening with this girl is slipping away, and evidently at my own hand. I pull into Lowes, where I wanted to get xmas lights for my room and our family room window and rubber ficus. We had been discussing it for a couple weeks and I wanted to take this opportunity of creativeness to my advantage. I ran in and got a couple boxes of 150-light stands of multi-color and practically run out of their as I check out. I'm going back. I can only hope that this girl is still there because she is so different from what I see. Everyday I see people who just look miserable with their lives and it bums me the fuck out. People need to be happier with their lives and their situations, and the fact that it's been cloudy and rainy and little snow isn't helping either. To even see someone like this girl, who seems so genuinely happy with her life and time. I need to go back there and meet her. I drive quickly back to the gas station, pull in and look at all the cars that pass, searching to see if she's in one of them. I don't know what I'm going to do when I get there though. What would I say that doesn't sound as creepy as can be? I don't care. I need to say something though, I need to at least try. 

     I'm back at the gas station, frantically search the cars near where she was presumably parked. Nothing. She was gone... My head down in shame, I drove back home. I came back and remedied the loss of the perfect woman by putting up lights in my room and family room. They actually ended up looking really good and I've gotten like five complements already. The more I thought, well, at least I know she exists. I was excited to tell my roommates about her because it was such an awesome experience to see someone like her. 

     My only hope now is that I see her again somewhere because I know if I do, I will say something for sure.

     This is where I'll end for tonight. And again, I apologize to those awaiting my Halo blog, which I think will be in two parts due to the overall length of it. I leave you with Cut Copy's, "Feel the Love." You may remember I mentioned it in my previous blog. It's my favorite song ever. Enjoy.

Until next time...

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